I
India is a wonderful country with diverse colors and cultures. Fertile lands with rich sources underneath it, India attracts many investors and businessmen leading to booming international trade. One of the biggest and famous export of India wud be its Bollywood movie.
Cliche yet thrilling, Bollywoods never fail to amuse its fans. I remember one of its fan was once my house maid by the name of Wan Rogayah. An old lady fro Kijal, we used to call her We Gayoh. She did most of the house chores including tending me when I was 5 years old if I'm not mistaken.
Being at work doesn't stop her from devoting herself to every bollywood movies on air, usually in friday afternoon back in those days. After all, its only me and her left at home when the movie is on air.
The movie wud be screened at about 2pm and wud last at least 3 hours. And my cartoon time wud start around 4.
There will always be a war between us when my cartoon time is supposed to be on air. And of course, that is around the time where her bollywood movie is at its best part- THE CLIMAX.
I remember that I wud be crying out loud and rolling on the floor to force her to switch the channel, while her, without a single sign of being disturbed, glaring at the TV screen, watching an epic fight between good and evil and said to me in enthusiasm;
"..kejak dek kejak..tu napok tu ye tengoh gocoh tu!"
II
I was never good at maths. I really couldn't get my hand on it. Hence, I choosed this math-free path. This math-phobia that I suffer reminds me to my primary school math teacher named Zubaidah.
Cikgu Bedoh was not famous for her gentleness. Every single mistake wud end up with a slap on the face, or a brutal pinch at the belly, or a 1metre long ruler landing on ur palm.
I remember her favourite line when we couldn't solve the maths problem given;
"..itu pon tak tau buat!! Itu sambil berak bole buat tau!!!"
Well, its a standard 2 question after all.
So when we were given maths homework for our semester break, again the cliche line of her was barked.
The innocent me back in those age didn't took it metaphorically.
So wat do you do if u have a disciplinary teacher as ur mother, Cikgu Bedah as ur math teacher and a soaring rectal pressure with lunaticly stimulated inferior rectal nerve?
It was the traditional malay squating toilet bowl and I squat there in grumpy. Its supposed to holiday! Grrr!
Using my mother's small stool that she used to wash clothes as table, I began tackling those bloody questions.
"..bior betol cikgu bedoh ni. Wat sambil berok pong dok leh gi gop!!"
III
This monsoon season here in southern india reminds me of our very own monsoon in the east coast of west malaysia, or rather known as musim tengkujuh.
Monsoon is where most of outdoor activities is halted including football. Fishermens dessert their job for a while, mending nets and boats.
Tho football has stopped for a while here in Manipal due to awful condition of the field, I remember that monsoon never stop our football time back in our childhood time.
In fact, it was the most awaited time of the year! We won't really be playing football actually, but rather enjoy sliding on the wet and slippery field.
The consequence paid by us that time is none other than our mother's wrath. I remember that on day during my innocent time! My mother got fed up with my dirty muddy shirts.
"Mak nak mu basuh sendiri!! Sekarang jugak! Pandai sangat main padang hujan tu kenape??!!"
She thundered the house, followed by an absolute painful pinch at at tricep. So I went bathroom, rinse my shirt, sprinkle some washing powder and began brushing the mud stains. After a while I got tired if it. So my creative mind starts to tell me that I should use variety of detergents.
The following one hour is spent with me trying shampoos, lotions, and all other bottles that I can find in the toilet.
The long time that I spent in the toilet "washing" ONE piece of shirt brought curiosity to my mom. So she went to the bathroom to see the progress. And that time, I was trying a bottle which the label has worn out.
Seeing that, she went teribbly mad, which ended up with pinch and PANG on my back. I immediately finish up my washing and head outside to hang it.
I have no idea what makes her so angry. As I grow up, I learnt that the very bottle that I hold at the time she entered the bathroom was a bottle of feminine intimate wash.
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