Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pengalaman Abang

1. Cadang-cadang nak pergi Penang dulu, nak ambil barang-barang Abang punya abang. Tapi alih-alih hotel semua penuh pasal Krismas. Abang hairan jugak diorang dok sambut-sambut Krismas ni. Rukun Triniti tak pernah hafal pun.

2. Jadi pendek cerita kami lepak Ipoh dulu. Kampung mak Abang. Macam biasa la, bila dah berkumpul tu, banyak pulak timbul gossip-gosip panas saudara mara. Abang pun join the round table la. Maklumlah, takde saudara yang sekufu. Layan je isu-isu politik, pencen kerajaan, duit KWSP, kencing manis, darah tinggi dan lain-lain.

3. Tak lupa jugak tradisi ziarah kubur. Biasanya sekali dengan tradisi ziarah kubur ni jugak ialah tradisi “berbalah kubur yang mana satu”. Tapi tradisi ni dah pupus pasal sekarang ni kubur-kubur tu dah bernama. Jadi takdelah lame sangat Abang dok tengah panas tunggu kata putus kubur yang mana.

4. Lagi satu yang tradisi ialah penceritaan Hikayat Salasilah Keluarga masa dok ziarah kubur tu. Baik pasal yang didalam kubur, mahupun yang melawatnya. Abang dari dulu lagi kalu bab-bab ni memang Abang lemah siket. Tapi takdalah teruk sangat. Setakat C5 ke C6 tu biasalah. Lulus tu yang penting.

5. Lagi satu kalau balik Ipoh, mak Abang mesti cari Popia Basah SS Ali. Sedap jugak. Kat pasar malam takde, die paksa ayah Abang pergi tengah bandar. Abang layan je.

6. Berderum pulak pergi Penang. Kali terakhir pergi tahun 2005 kot. Lawa jugak pemandangan atas jambatan. Dah amik abang Abang tu, terus cari tempat lunch. Pelik driver-driver Penang ni. Sikit-sikit hon. Sikit-sikit hon. Tau lah plate C.

7. Makan malam dekat Padang Kota. Orang cakap, sinilah nak tangok anak melayu mabuk malam merdeka. Hajat di hati nak pekena Char Kuey Teow. Tapi, aduh, Abang bila ingat balik rasa bengkak pulak. Abang rasa cemerlang lagi Char Kuey Teow pasar malam Ampangan. Tapi nasib baik passembor die boleh tahan mantop beb!

8. Abang kan kalu orang nak khianat ke nak menipu ni Abang boleh maafkan lagi. Melainkan 3 perkara. Soal hidup mati, soal masa depan, ngan soal makanan. Char Kuey Teow die entah apa-apa. Berkuah tidak. Kering pun tidak. Tak retilah Abang nak menghuraikannya. Geram betul. Udang besau dua ketul. Mau tak 8 ringgit harga beliau.

9. Jenguk-jenguk Batu Feringhi. Ingat nak cari beg kulit. Dah lame mengidam. Cari-cari, tak jumpe yang berkenan dihati. Cari-cari lagi, tauke pulak tak layan. Mujur perempuan. Kalu tak dah tengking dah. Apa dia ingat Abang takde duit ke? Ini yang Abang panas ni. Cari-cari lagi. Jumpe lah yang berkenan dihati, tauke pulak ikhlas meladeni. Bukak-bukak dompet pulak duit besar ade sekeping je rupenye. Hebat jugak Tauke pempuan tadi. Sedih.

10. Tiba masa balik rumah. Nyanyi-nyanyi lagu Balik Kampung dengan gumbira. Takdelah gumbira sangat pasal kerja bertimbun lagi tak siap. Sabtu malam dah nak naik bas. Sampai kat Jeli, Abang teringat satu perkara. Nasik Kandar tak pekena lagi!!!! Serius lupa walupun dah senarai!! Down sampai subuh.


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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Tamer Hosny

Saya baru dapat tau bahawa ade sorang artis Mesir name die same dengan saya!
Tapi ejaan nya sedikit berbeza - Tamer Hosny. Sebelum ini saya cuma tau Hosni Mubarak, dan sedikit pun tidak berbangga dengannya.
Sengaja mahu kecoh-kecoh. =)



Tamer Hosny


Tomel Hosni

_

Tu je pon.

HEHE.

_

Friday, December 25, 2009

Haloba

Suatu masa dahulu. Ada tiga orang sahabat mengembara. Sampai petang hari ke empat puluh pengembaraan, mereka lewati satu tempat penuh batu kerikil. Lalu mereka bertembung dengan seorang tua yang agak misteri lagaknya.

Orang tua itu pun berpesan, "Ambil lah sebanyak mana pun batu kerikil ini. Pagi besok kamu akan gembira."

Tercengang juga tiga pengembara itu, namun fikir mereka, apalah salah kalu dituruti sahaja. Sebelum orang tua itu hilang dari pandangan, dia berkata lagi,

"Ya, kamu akan sangat gembira. Dan kamu juga akan sangat menyesal."

Tiga pengembara itu tanpa mengendahkan orang tua itu, terus mengutip batu-batu kerikil yang dilihat. Masing ambil sekampit kecil seorang. Tidak mahu terbeban. Perjalanan diteruskan.

Senja melabuhkan tirai, dan mereka pun mula bermalam. Bangun dari tidur esoknya, mereka teringat akan batu kerikil mereka.

Terkejutlah mereka apabila didapati batu-batu itu telah bertukar menjadi ketulan permata.

Ya, mereka merasa sangat sangat gembira.

Tapi mereka juga sangat sangat menyesal.

Kerana tidak ambil lebih banyak.

Benarlah kata orang tua itu.

_

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Anjing Dan Kucing

Assalamualaikum pembuka bicara
sengaja berkarya mengisi masa
sudah lama dikarang saya
kini mahu berkongsi semula
kisah dibawa tazkirah berupa
kisah anjing dan juga kucing
asik begaduh kasi org pening
kalau kalian bijak laksana
tentu tahu kucing ini, fi`il nya cemana
time berseronok kuat bunyinya
sampai sekampung dengar projek dia
hal ini malulah adanya
namun ada cerita disebaliknya
cerita bermula dizaman dahulukala
ketika nabi nuh di dalam bahtera
akan banjir berkunjung tiba
naiklah haiwan sejenis berdua
selepas naik pengikut baginda
maka sesaklah didalam bahtera
ruang di dlam, susah nak kata
maka peraturan dibuat baginda
tiada projek sampai berlabuh kita
maka disahut segala isi bahtera
mengaku akan taat setia
selang sudah berapa lama
dilihat lah anjing jantan akan yang betina
tiada terkawal nafsu syahwatnya
ingkarlah anjing dengan baginda
bukan sekali, byk kali pula
namun malang, tiada yang sangka
perbuatan dilihat si kucing pula
bukan sekali, byk kali juga
bila selalu si kucing beranglah pula
pergilah kucing kepada baginda
terus diadu apa yang dilihatnya
dipanggillah anjing akan baginda
disoal-soal, mengakunya tiada
dipanggillah kucing selaku saksinya
berhikayatlah kucing akan segala
"mata hamba yang melihatnya"
si kucing terus berbicara
anjing bertegas menafi segala
tetapi kebenaran menang jua
sedihnya anjing tiada terkira
maka ke langit dilihatnya
anjing melihat seraya berdoa
" ya tuhan rabbul izzati"
"aib keatas ku si kucing beri"
"maka bukakan lah akan aibnya"
"sebagaimana aibku dibuka olehnya"
perkenanlah sudah doa olehNYA
kesannya dapat dilihat lagi
dari dulu sampailah kini
aib si kucing terbuka selalu
sebagaimana dibukanya aib si anjing dulu
karena itu si kucing begitu
bikin itu, sekampung tahu
karena bunyinya , kuat bertalu
hasil doa anjing yang malu
maka pengajaran besar adanya
jagalah aib org, semahu-mahunya
karena sekali dibuka kita aib lain manusia
aib kita dibukaNYA di akhirat sana
sekadar menasihat bukan mencerca
apa yang baik ambil sahaja
tiada diketahui akan sanad nya
kalau palsu maafkan saya
sekian sahaja bermadah bicara
wallahualam penutup kata.

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Indonesia Raya

Salam.
Mahu berkongsi dengan kamu satu video. Video lagu kebangsaan asal Indonesia Raya.
HAHA.
Mungkin kelakar, tapi mereka yang kita gelar "indon" ini nyata nampaknya lebih bersemangat pada negara mereka berbanding kita. Ya, mungkin ada yang tidak setuju dengan aku.
Tak apalah. Cuma aku rasa video dan lagu ni menarik.
Tonton ya!
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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Cap Dua Lada

Kalau ade blog, tapi tak update, tak panggil blog la namenye kan? Orang Ganu panggil bolok la camtu..

Hari ni puasa. Nazar pasal mende tah aku tak ingat. Naseb baek aku ade catat. Arakian petang ni kene tolong mak aku goreng cucur udang. Kakak yang macam Garfield memang tak boleh harap.

Peh, itu cucur kalau kene ngan Sos Keropok Cap Dua Lada tu memang mantap tak terhingga. Juga kene tukarkan roti perancis seminggu lepas kepada kepingan2 roti bawang putih. Jugak kene lah abiskan setin lagi Sup Campbell yang dah sebulan usia beliau.

Tibe-tibe teringat dapur Remy. Remy ni sahabat aku kat Seremban ni. Beliau itu hari ada membawa dapur yang canggih jugaklah. Tak perlu api tau!~ cuma letakkan periuk di atasnya, dan tekan2 butang, lalu masaklah apa saje.

Kadang2 dapur beliau buat perangai jugak. Tapi bisa dibereskan

Kami sangat seronot bila dapur beliau bersama-sama kami. makanan DS tak sedap akan dibawak naik dan di ubah suai menjadi NAsik Goreng Apa Yang Ada dan semestinya SEDAP. Iaitu nasik goreng yang takkan jadi dua kali, pasal dibuat menggunakan bahan2 yang terlihat oleh mata je pade mase itu, dan melalui idea yang timbul sahaja di benak masa itu.

Tentulah, abang aji-na-moto banyak membantu. Short-cut to succes lah katekan.

Namun setelah lama kami bermesra dan bersama-sama dapur tersebut, tibe2 dapur itu tiada ditempatnye di BIlik Utiliti. Yang tinggal hanyalah sekeping kertas nota tampal.

Yang berbunyi;

"Alhamdulillah, dapat Ketua Fellow merasa dapur baru. Nak tuntut kat saya!"

Al-fadhil ketua fellow cakap; "Hang pa buat surat noh.."

HAHA..down!


p/s;Salam Awal Muharram buat para pengunjung. Moga2 tahun baru membawa rahmat berkat keazaman.
_

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Fenomena Gila Telenovela Amerika Latin

Korang! yang scare sengaje atau tak sengaje menumpang lalu atau menjenguk blog ini!
Ye! Kau le, pandang orang laen buat ape?
Aku nak ko tengok video bawah ni. Sumpah lawak haram.
Afdlin Shauki buat standup comedy pasal fenomena gila telenovela yang satu ketika melanda negara kita ni..
Tengok aku kate! tengok!
alah...kejap je buffering, pastu play la...ok?
Tengok ye..plizzzz (gaya menggoda)

Monday, December 14, 2009

20 Mutiara

1. Padah sungguh bile Sem 3 rilek baba, banyak kerja terbengkalai.

2. Bile banyak kerja terbengkalai, banyak jugak kerja menanti. Maken semput.

3. Dalam kelemasan itu, sifat malas itu tetap bermaharajalela. Makin lama makin malas. makin lama makin tak produktif.

4. Hidup macam tidak bermakna. Cuti yang panjang tapi kosong. Ohh, aku rindu Kuantan.

5. Aku rindu Zaman kecik-kecik dimana akal kreatif ligat berputar. Aku mahu cipta sesuatu, mahu bina helikopter. Tapi aku tak suka fizik. Aku cemburu pada mythbuster.

6. Aku tidak punya suara yang merdu. Tapi ingin sangat jadi penyanyi latar!

7. Aku takut obesiti, tapi terlalu suka makanan. Alangkah baik kalau boleh belajar ilmu Kulinari.

8. Aku baca Bible. Inggeris lama ditambah pepatah yahudi. Jadah haram tak paham. Mahu beli Bible For Dummies. Mahal lah pulak.

9. Aku dapat tahu Melayu dahulu handal bikin senjata api. Meriam, bedil, pemuras, rentaka. Aku sangat mahu jenguk zaman silam.

10. Berbual dengan rakan lama di alam maya. Cemburu lihat mereka bual pasal musim sejuk panas. Sini musim tengkujuh.

11. Aku kagum dengan ilmu tabib orang Tionghua. Aku kagum ilmu tabib orang Hindu. Teringin mahu belajar.

12. Aku sangat teringin memetik ukelele Wajidi. Aku mengidam mahu menuntut ilmu gesekan biola. Gitar? Aku dah lama putus asa.

13. Aku cemburu pada mamat Digging For the Truth. Juga iri pada Abang Duilding Da Vinci.

13. Aku mahu tidur awal dan bangun awal.

14. Ohh..Aku mahu buat banyak perkara di dunia ini.

15. Tapi harus berpijak di bumi nyata. Diriku walaupun besar, tidak boleh dibelah. Kita harus pilih.

16. Pilihan harus ikut keutamaan.

17. Dan keutamaan pada peperiksaan besar yang mendatang.

18. Oh, aku benci arus ini. Namun aku tidak jumpa jalan keluar yang sempurna.

19. Aku mahu buat banyak perkara.

20. Tapi harus berpijak di bumi nyata.

Oh, cuti yang tidak bermakna.

_

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Bila Di Atas Talian

'
Saya akan bukak blog saye.

Saye akan bukak facebook.

Saye log in Yahoo Messenger.

Saye akan log in blogger akaun kalau ade komen baru pada entri-entri saya.

Saye akan balas komen-komen di blog saya. (kebiasaannya lah)

Saye bukak blog kelas lame saya.

Saye pon komen apa-apa patut dan yang terlintas di hati.

Saya akan bukak profile page Facebook saya.

Saya akan balas status-status dan apa-apa yang patut.

Saya akan balas apa-apa yang patut pada Wall di Home Page.

Saya akan tulis status baru kalau ada idea.

Saya akan tengok ruangan Courage Comrades di blog saya.

Saya akan lawat blog kawan-kawan saya yang tulis entri baru dalam jangkamasa 3 hari yang lalu.

Saya akan komen apa-apa yang patut. (kebiasaannya lah)

Saya akan bukak Blog Mistisfiles kalau ada entri baru.

Saya save page untuk bacaan masa lapang.

Saye akan balas apa-apa yang ptut di ruangan Confusing Conversation di blog saya.

Kemudian barulah saya akan membuang masa dengan melilau-lilau antara sembang-sembang
YM, Facebook, jelajah jaraingan blog, dan jelajah Youtube.

Agak-agak dah penat, saya tutup segalanya dan buat kerja lain.

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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sir Ratanam

'
Glancing at my IELTS certificate, I smile. Well, it worth all the hard works and I can say it is not bad, for me, a person who came from a small village in the East Coast.

My mind started to flash back all the memory of my early years of learning English. Back in my primary school which is in Beserah, Kuantan where it is just a sub-urban area near the South China Sea where most of its people work as fishermen.

For kampong students of SK Beserah like us, even our own Bahasa Melayu was difficult to grasp, as many of us speak Terengganunese. Not to mention English. I remember how our English teacher, an Indian, taught us English.

He was a very dedicated teacher. He has unique methods to teach us so that we can understand better. His name is Sir Ratanam. However, due to our Terengganunese accent, we called him Se Ghak-nang instead !

He taught me English. He taught all my siblings. He also taught all the other sons and daughters of Beserah. He had been teaching in the SK Beserah for years and he spends his last days of service there.

Se Ghak-nang always emphasized on the importance of practicing what we have learnt. So, not a single Malay word was allowed to be uttered. I remember my old friend back in Standard Six says something about “coli mok mu” to my other friend. They were having quarrel that time. Then Se Ghak-nang scolded them and said that the word “coli” in English is bra. You see, even when we wanted to swear, or say nasty things; we only can say it in English.

Se Ghak-nang always encouraged us to stand up and speak in English. He promoted the public speaking. Sometimes he stops you at the corridor and have you tested on public speaking. Everybody was afraid of him. Of course you can speak about anything that you want, but I don’t know, it was so scary that time. He sometimes calls pupils up during the assembly and then; public speaking time!

He also likes to make mistakes in class, so that his pupils will have to correct him. He purposely spells the day incorrectly so that his fellow students will speak in English in order to correct him.

He taught us how to use words like “moreover”, “furthermore”, “in addition” and so on. Even today, whenever I use those words, I remember his voice and face. He always encouraged us to be brave and try to speak in English. He said that it is OK to make mistakes, so that you will learn. It is important to stand tall and speak! Don’t be ashamed of it.

He taught us the meaning of bravery, perseverance, and hard work. He instilled the spirit of wanting to success in every hearts of Beserah’s child.

He taught English to me and all the other sons and daughters of Beserah. He even taught all my siblings. He was a teacher in the SK Beserah for years and he spends his last days of service there.

His wise words are always in my heart. I cannot deny that he is one of the most influential people in making what Lord Hosni the Wise is today.


Dear Se Ghak-nang, I owe you an incalculable debt.



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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Kisah Abang

Zaman Abang tengah bermisai. Masa ni lah masa kegemilangan Abang. Rambut panjang, misai pun ade. Mase tu semua awek-awek dok pakat usha Abang je.
Tu belum Abang pakai spek hitam sambil kuak-kuak rambut Abang time jalan sambil dihembus angin tengah sepoi-sepoi bahasa. Memang diorang jerit-jeirt tak keruan tau. Tapi Abang tak layan. Abang fokus pelajaran.
p/s : Dua ekor mamat tepi tu tak perlu diberi perhatian. Diorang tu memang betul-betul tak betul.

Zaman Abang baru lepas cukur misai. Abang jumpa shaver kat bilik air Abang kat rumah. Lepas cukur rasa muda pulak. Awek-awek sekolah pulak pakat usha Abang. Tapi abang tak layan bawah umur ni. Tak matang.

Dulu Abang ade try nak cukur kat Kolej, tapi kawan Abang yang gemuk name Hazim tu kedekut tanak bagi pinjam shaver. Ape nak buat kalau dah member macam tu punya gaya.

Dah sekian lama kat rumah, mak bapak Abang naik geram tengok rambut Abang. Diorang ni memang dari dulu anti rambut panjang. Abang dah puas berdakwah kat diorang. Abang cakap Nabi dulu pun rambut panjang. Tapi tak makan.


Last-last Abang pun mengalah. Maklumlah Abang kan anak mithali. Korang semua kena ikut contoh tauladan macam Abang ni tau. Jadi anak yang taat.


Abang skang ni setiap kali tengok cermin, Abang rase sedih. Rase nak gelak pon ade. Dah macam tok sami. Kakak Abang cakap macam Doraemon. Tapi makcik-makcik kat surau semua cakap Abang macam Damian dalam cite Banlieu 13.


Abang percaya kat makcik-makcik surau tu.


Abang percaya.


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Monday, November 30, 2009

The Coming of Muhammad

Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:

Of sin, because they believe not on me;

Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more;

Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.

I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you.



The Gospel of St John (Chapter 16 Verse 7 to 14)

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bangung Awa Gop

It has been nearly a week since the holiday started, yet, none of the assignments are completed. In fact, I haven’t touched anything. Woke up everyday at the strike of noon, make me hate myself very much.

I have work out a schedule so that I can finish all my assignments in time, alas; I left 4 days allocated for lab reports just like that.

I have copied lots of movies so that I can watch during the holiday, alas, I have watched only 2 of them. However, watching Forest Gump recently was very interesting for me. I have watched this movie countless number of time in my life, yet, I never tired of watching it again and again.

Nevertheless, I managed to watched a documentary about Mahathir on The History Channel last night. Yes, the white men made a documentary about a Malay. Thoughts and faces began wandering in my mind. Mahathir, Anwar Ibrahim, Lim Kit Siang, Nik Aziz, Haji Hadi, Abuya Ashaari. Wonder what will happen if all of them are in the cabinet.

I have also brought several books back home, and also managed to buy Rahsia Arqam written by Ann Wan Seng at the Kedai Buku Banggol down town, yet, I haven’t finish any of them. Not to mention Atap Genting Atap Rumbia and Trem Bernama Desire.

I have lots of things in my mind that I want to write in my blog. I even thought of the titles for few articles that I wish to write this holiday for my blog. Yet, I haven’t started to write any of them.

What have I achieved for this almost a week of holiday?

Nothing.

These remind me of the character Jenny in the Forest Gump. I know it is a 1994 movie, but I like it.

“Run, Forest, run!”

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Mujo (Apology to Madam Juriah)

Copied From Blog Cikgu Juriah
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Subject: Mujo - more reasons to love terengganu besides the beautifulislands..Some article about Trengganu..........have fun!!!

Mujo or mujur in Standard Bahasa means "fortunate" or "lucky". InTerengganu it means more than that. Mujo is an attitude, a testament tothe optimism of the Terengganu folks.

I believe that Terengganunese are optimistic. I haven't heard of any suicides there yet. No newswhatsoever of people jumping down from coconut trees or drinking expiredbudu (preserved anchovy thick sauce) neat in order to expire themselves.

You must remember that Terengganu people lived with ferries, morningpapers that came in the night and other things people in the West Coasttake for granted. In spite of doing without 4D shops, discos, malls orHot Spot-enabled coffee houses, they are surviving well without anymental hospital in sight. All because they have mujo .

Like I mentioned previously, mujo encapsulate a philosophy in itself.It means one should thank God that it is not worse. Time for anillustration.

(Cut to a scene of 3 village ladies in their kemban washing clothes bythe village well)

Mok Long Selamoh : Guane doh adik mung Mek?(How is your brother Mek?)

Mok Teh Som :Bakpe pulok adik dia?(What happened to her brother?)

Mok Long Selamoh : Laaa! Mung dok tau ke Som?(You don't know Som?)

Mok Teh Som : Dok tau setarang kita.(I don't know anything)

Mok Long Selamoh : Adik Mek ni kena langgor lori kemareng.(Mek's brother was knocked down by a lorry yesterday)

Mek Beso : Bukang lori Mok Long, beng ikang!(It wasn't a lorry Mok Long, it was a fish van)

Mok Long Selamoh : Mujo bukang lori!(Lucky it wasn't a lorry)

Mok Teh Som : Pah tu? Terok ke?(Then? Was he seriously injured?)

Mek Beso :Kaki patoh sebeloh......(One leg was broken)

Mok Teh Som : Mujo dok patoh dua dua(Lucky both legs weren't broken)

Mok Long Selamoh : Tu pong mujo dreba beng dang brek.(It was lucky that the van driver braked in time)

Mek Beso : Mujo beng tu dok laju..(Lucky the van wasn't going fast..)

(Fade to black.)

If both legs were broken, the response would be "Mujo dok pecoh pala"(Lucky the head wasn't broken).

If the head WAS broken, the response would be "Mujo dok mati" (Lucky he didn't die).

If the worst happenedand the brother died, the mujo would still surface."Mujo lah bukang adik kita" (Lucky it wasn't my brother).

You get thedrift.Mujo . A nice word. Adopt it. Embrace it. It will preserve your sanity.....

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Boxer: Keadaan dan Kesan

Pembaca yang waras akan membaca artikel ini dengan berlapang dada dan menimbangkannya dari kacamata yang bebas daripada sebarang unsur taghut, lucah, mahupun bidaah dan fitnah.

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Seluar pendek peninju ataupun boxer merupakan pakaian dalam lelaki yang kian popular dewasa ini. Asalnya yang agak labuh dan besar, telah diubahsuai ke dalam pelbagai bentuk dan saiz, sesuai dengan permintaan di pasaran. Boxer dapat menyainngi industry seluar dalam lelaki dunia kerana ia memberikan satu alternatif kepada populasi lelaki seluruh dunia untuk satu gaya baru yang lebih selesa dan ceria.

Namun yang demikian, ramai yang tidak tahu akan fenomena lain mengenai boxer selain daripada menjadi pakaian dalam popular dalam kalangan kaum Adam. Menurut kajian yang telah saya lakukan, boxer amat berkait rapat dengan keyakinan diri seseorang. Lebih 80% responden dari kalangan pelajar Kolej MARA Seremban berpendapat bahawa boxer mempengaruhi keyakinan diri dan emosi seorang lelaki.

Majoriti berpendapat bahawa keadaan boxer yang dipakai itu menentukan bahawa hari itu adalah hari yang malang ataupun ceria. Lebih 70% responden mengatakan bahawa jika boxer itu berada dalam keadaan kering dan baru dibasuh serta masih berbau sabun dobi, keyakinan diri pada pagi hari tersebut akan melonjak tinggi dan hal ini turut membantu dalam proses pembelajaran di kelas.

Sebaliknya, jika boxer tersebut agak lembab kerana cuaca ataupun belum kering sepenuhnya, tetapi dipakai juga lantaran kehabisan stok boxer, keyakinan diri pada hari itu akan turun menjunam. Hal ini akan memberikan impak yang negative pada pembelajaran dan juga pada emosi pelajar. Keadaan menjadi lebih buruk apabila boxer itu bukanlah boxer kegemaran.

Selain daripada kadar lembapan sifar, jenis kain, keadaan, dan jenama boxer yang bakal dipakai juga mempengaruhi kehidupan seharian seorang lelaki. Jenis kain yang bagus adalah pelbagai dan bergantung kepada naluri dan citarasa responden. Majoriti memilih kain yang tidak boleh regang. Mereka berpendapat bahawa kebolehan kain meregang hanyalah mendatangkan ketidak-selesaan kepada jiwa dan raga pelajar tersebut.

Keadaan boxer juga turut memainkan peranan. Boxer yang berada dalam keadaan baik dan bersih akan membuatkan pemakinya selesa dan membantu dalam urusan komunikasi seharian. Boxer yang berada dalam keadaan caca marba dengan tompok-tompok daki serta koyak rabak pula akan menyebabkan pemakai berasa sedih dan malu, lalu akan memberi impak negative pada pergaulan seharian dan juga keyakinan diri.

Jenama sesehelai boxer itu juga turut berperanan besar pada keadaan psikologi seorang lelaki. Boxer yang berjenama mahal serta bermutu tinggi biasanya digunakan pada hari-hari yang tertentu dan bermakna seperti temujanji pertama, temuduga kerja, temuramah wartawan, temu mesra, dan temujin. Manakala boxer murah dan tidak berkualiti serta sadis keadaan pula kebiasaannya dipakai pada acara-acara yang dianggap lazim dan tidak begitu penting seperti perlawanan DoTA, lepak dengan member, pergi surau, ataupun sewaktu riadah. Hal ini adalah kerana acara-acara ini sudah lazim dan sebati pada diri pelajar-pelajar ini dan tidaklah mendatangkan gemuruh mahupun gundah gulana pada jiwa mereka.

Boxer sememanganya memberikan kesan penting pada keadaan psikologi dan keyakinan diri seorang lelaki khususnya pelajar. Justeru, diharap agar semua pihak dapat bekerjasama bagi mewujudkan pasaran boxer yang lebih sihat dan bebas daripada unsur dadah dan judi. Sesungguhnya negara kita ketandusan pengeluar dan penjual boxer yang bermutu dan mampu dibeli oleh kebanyakan rakyat. Akhir kata, majulah boxer untuk Negara.

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Dilema Penggemar Kopi



Assalamualaikum dan Salam Satu Malaysia;

Peh, mukaddimah yg agak poyo.

Exam semester 3 seminggu je lagi. Jadah hape plak aku lepak depan koop terkial-kial mencari line wi-fi dan secara ajaibnye meng-update-kan blog aku?

hmm..sebenarnye banyak mende2 menarik yang aku nk kongsi, tapi takde mood dan takde mase.

Kopi merupakan minuman yang sungguh unik yang sungguh menyegarkan tatkala saat2 mengantuk ataupun dikala simptom2 lalok bermaharajalela. Namun awas, kopi banyak kafein jadi ambilannya tak boleh terlalu kerap.

Menjadi seorang penggemar kopi, aku suke kopi o cap aik cheong. Panas2 dan bergula yang tak keterlaluan. Kopi O aik cheong bukan calang-calang kopi.

Aromanye amat mengiurkan. Wap-wap kopi yang melayangkan aroma biji kopi oleh partikel2 udara itu tatkala melanggar bulu2 hidungku ini adalah satu kenikmatan yang tak dapat digambarkan.

Kopi O bukan seperti para Nescafe 3 in 1 tuuu. BUKAN. Jauh bedanya. Malah Nescafe 3 in 1 yang ramai2 rebutkan itu hanyalah sejenis air kafein yang bertopengkan kopi!

Tidak..tidak..masakan Nescafe 3 in 1 dapat disamakan dengan kopi O Aik Cheong. Aromanya. Warna nya. Kesannya. Kepanasannya. Rasanya. Uihhhh....tak sama!

Kopi O Aik Cheong amat sedap diminum panas2. Tatkala uncangnya dikeluarkan dari paketnya, dan didamparkan pada dasar gelas cenderamata Nadwah Islamiah KMS yang dicuri dari bilik Farhan, bau yang dikeluarkan uncang itu sahaja sudah ampuh untuk membuatkan sesiapa sahaja mencapai orgasme seminit dua.

Uncang itu kemudiannya dihujani dengan gula-gula putih yang paket2nya dicuri daripada McDonald dan juga Hotel Corus Paradise. Lebih baik kalau2 gula itu gula perang. Rasanya lebih mantap. Kemanisannya lebih berlemak dan memenuhi setiap ruang2 dan rongga2 di mulut.

Mantap haram.

Gelas Nadwah itu tadi pula diisi dengan air panas dari mesin Coway di bilik utiliti. Air mesti panas. Bodohlah sape buat kopi guna air sejuk. Sumpah bodoh. Air mesti panas. Lagi panas lagi bagus.

Duuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............

Mase air tu start kene je uncang kopi tu, dan bercampur dengan sebatian-sebatian kopi dan gula, aroma yang dikeluarkan memang cukup mengasyikkan. Cukup untuk membuatkan setiap tunas rasa di lidah kau menari dangdut, dibasahi ayaq lioq (air liur) yang secara tiba2 terpancar-pancar dari liang2 di mulut anda umpama bomba punya watergun.

Saat wap kopi tu mengusap muka anda, anda akan rasakan satu nikmat yang cukup sempurna.
umpama berjaya menamatkan bola yang sekian lamanya melantun2 dalam permainan beregu ping-pong.

Kopi itu akan lebih sedap dimunum di bilik sendiri, F202, jauh di hujung. Jauh dari kebisingan dan kesesakan serta hingar bingar orang bermain DOTA, jamming, berkebun melawan zombi, memberi komentar sambil menonton supernatural, mengutuk deedat, ataupun nyanyian2 kekonon merdu d tandas.

Air kopi yang pahit-pahit manis ini kemudiannya dihirup sedikit demi sedikit. Tak boleh minum camtu je. tak feel la brader. lagipon panas. melecur lidah.

Disaat air kopi tersebut melalui setiap tunas rasa dilidah anda, disaat wap kopi itu memenuhi ruang2 mulut anda, disaat kopi itu dikecap dan menyentuh lelangit anda, disaat ia mula diteguk dan mndakap anak tekak anda, dan disaat ia lalu di saluran oesophagus anda, memberikan sensasi panas pada dada anda, OHHHH.....nikmat yang tak dapat digambarkan.

Nikmat yang takkan difahami orang laen.

Syiok haram. Lagi-lagi kalau diminum dan dihirup mase tengah menghadap buku dan mentelaah. tumpuan meningkat berkali ganda. Dan suhu air kopi tersebut akan turun dan turun sampai ke fasa panas sikit daripada suam2 kuku yang mana fasa ini amatlah sedap gile babi wa cakap lu.

namun disinilah timbulnya keraguan ataupun unsur gharar dalam aktiviti meminum kopi ini. Andai kata anda bukak buku selama satu jam. dan kopi segelas itu tidak akan kekal panas pada fasa tadi.

suhunya akan turun dan turun. dan semakin turun suhu kopi tersebut, semakin banyak kuantiti setiap hirupan. Jadi, semakin cepatlah kopi itu habis!

sedangkan kopi itu amatlah sedap dan buku harus terus dihadap untuk lagi beberapa puluh minit!!!!!

biarkan saja kopi itu dan kekalkan kuantiti setiap hirupan kopi????

OHHH..TIDAK SAMA SEKALI. Kopi tu dah jadi tak panas dah!! No point la minum kopi O kalau tak panas! kopi tak panas, yang panasnye hati tau! HATI!!

umpama berak tapi takde getah paip kat jamban tu.

umpama dah puasa tapi sejam sebelum berbuka tetibe period. (bg pempuan la..)

umpama makan ayam kat DS, tapi dapat leher.

umpama buat maths, tapi tak bawak kalkulator

umpama pegi vending machine tapi takde syiling.

segala-galanye jadi tak bermakna! Itulah dilema penggemar kopi.

Sama ada menghirupnya dengan banyak semasa tengah panas dan kopi habis dalam masa yang singkat,

ataupun mengambil masa yang lama untuk menghabiskan kopi itu sedikit demi sedikit tetapi kopi itu sudahpun sejuk sekelip mata.

itulah; dilema seorang penggemar kopi yang ketiadaan mesin kopi.
_

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Bbabi Taanoh

Kan saye de cerite yang saye akan wat post laen psl perbualan saye ngan akak opis Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah Kuala Terengganu. Berikut adalah petikan kata-kata beliau kepada saya, dalam nada suara yang keletihan dan amat saiko sekali;

"Eeee..berat weh. Awok tahu dok kije duktor ni bukang mudoh2. Payoh awok tahu. Guling netang guling netang la awok kak spita ni. Tapi awok orang lakki kang. Kire dok payoh ah. Bukan dok payoh mnde, payoh tu memang payoh doh. Cume awok dakyoh mikir rumoh la. Lagipun tanggungjawak awok doh cari nafkoh. Kire mate pecariang awok doh la. Ni kalu orang puang ni. Nok ade keluorge lagi. Doh tokkang awok takmboh nikoh dok? Orang puang payoh. Hubungang nge suammi, anok2.

Orang lakki pong sekse juggok. Sekse blakke.Macang ade duktor mude puang sorang baru ni ye katte- Saye nyessa kate. Saye salloh amek jalang doh kak eh. Doh ye ah due tige ari dok keje ongko sapa ke tadop rehak pah. Balik nok care ke rumoh pulok. Doh tokkang nok lok gitu je owk?

Kaddang tu sapa 2-3 hari dok musing kliling spitta eh, doh nok rehak wanne? pasyeng tu lah, pasyeng ni lah. tu sappa ye katte kije duktor pe bbabi tannoh!"


Isk3...aku tau korang tak paham. Jadi aku sediakan terjemahannye. Saje aku gune jugak bahasa loghat, supaye mesej dapat disampaikan dengan lebih tepat dari sudut bahasa kepada orang yang memahami.


"Eeee, susah tau. Awak tahu tak yang kerja doktor ni bukan senang. Susah tau, terguling terlentang la awak kat hospital ni. Tapi awak (Lordhosni) orang lelaki kan, jadi takdelah susah. Bukan tak susah, susah tu sememanngye ade, cuma awak tak payah fikir sangat soal rumahtangga. Lagipun dah tanggungjawab awak cari nafkah. Kalau perempuan, nak ade keluarga lagi, takkanlah awak (bakal2 doktor) tak nak kahwen kan? Susahlah kalau orang perempuan (jadi doktor). Hubungan dengan suami dan anak2 (kena jaga).

Orang lelaki pun apa kurangnya. Dua-dua (jantina) pun sama (tahap kesusahannya). Baru-baru ni ada seorang doktor perempuan muda (baru) bercerita pada saya. Dia kate dia menyesal. Die kata die dah salah ambil jalan. Masakan tidak, dua-tiga hair kerja on-call sampai tiada rehat. Balik rumah pula banyak perkara lain (urusan rumahtangga) menanti. Takkanlah nak biar macam tu je kan?

Kadang-kadang tu sampai dua-tiga hari keliling hospital (rawat pesakit). Dah tu nak rehat bile? Pesakit yang itu lah, pesakit yang ini lah. Sampai dia (doktor muda tadi) tu kate kerja doktor macam kerja babi tanah!"

Saya kata: Babi tanah pun, babi tanah la labu.....

_

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Kisah Minggu Terakhir Ramadhan

Kisah #1

AKu benci betul Bandar KT eh, silap, BANDARAYA KT bile cuti raye. Hari laen bukan tak benci, Benci jugak, tapi tak mendalam sangat. Nasihat aku pd orang2 yang nk bawak kete kat Bandaraya KT mase cuti raye ni, janganlah anda gatal2 nak cabar siput babi lumba. Kerana anda pasti kalah. Kerana kesesakannya amatlah dasyat. Segala mak nenek perantau dan pelancong serta pelencong bertandang.

Lalu untuk urusan mendapatkan kebenaran wat kerja sosial di Hospital cuti ni, saye pon berderumlah dengan motor kris buruk saye tu, lalu swaktu balik, tersekat lagi dalam satu trafik jem. Maka dengan gaya rempitnye, saya pon mencilok mengikut puluhan motor laen, melalui lane yg salah disebelah. Tiba2 gedebuk! Langgar kete sorang brader ni. Kemik la jugak kereta beliau. Nak dipendekkan cerita, setelah letih bersilat dan bertikam lidah serta bertumbuk bergomol dan bergocoh, akhirnya Dua ratus ringgit bertukar tangan.

"Hilang gitu jelah due ratuh kite. Ingak sikek gamok" Bapak gua berleter. Gua tak beli pon baju melayu taon ni. Takut den nak mintak.


Kisah #2

Ini agak tragis. Berderumlah aku tadi dengan motor buruk kesayangan mencelahi kereta berplat aneka negeri di Bandar eh, BANDARAYA KT terbenci ini. Tujuan utama, beli sluaq jeans pasal sluaq kegemaran sedia ada rabak sudah. Nak pendek cita, beli la sehelai. Murah je. Tak mboh mahal2. Berderum pulak ke kedai jam tua depan Pasar Payang untok mebaiki jam sayer yang patah cangkuknye berbulan-bulan lepas. Saye pegi KLCC tanye kedai sane, die tak baiki, nak antau centre, tunggu 4 bulan. Saye antau kat apek tua ni, 5 minit da siap tukar plat cangkuk! Beraya dengan jam la saye taon ni, bior baju lame pon! Saye sayang sesangat dengan jam sayer kerna nostalgia lampau yang terlalu banyak

Lopeh tu saya berderum kejap ke kedai buku.

Nak cari buku Rahsia Al Arqam karya Ann Wan Seng. Tapi abes stok. Sayer pon balek ke motor saye di tempat parkir, dan mendapati seluaq jeans yg saya letak dalam raga motor tu ilang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Gi tingga gitu gok padang la. Supe nok buwi ke orang la." Terok sungguh saye disindir bapak saye. Sayer mengambil hati beliau balik dengan merawat tangan beliau yang terluka dihiris pisau semasa kami meraut tebu sebelum dimesin untuk di ambil air sebagai juadah berbuka. Sweet kan sayer ni?


Kisah #3

Kisah ini saya akan cerita kemudian bile ade mase lampau. Mengenai isi perbualan sayer dan akak opis Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah KT. Isi perbualan kami berkisar mengenai kehidupan seorang doktor dan cabaran2nya.

Beliau siap tunjuk saya buku unjuran gaji2 doktor lepasan ijazah kat Hospital tu sekali!! Tapi sayangnya, itu bukan sesuatu yang menggembirakan atau memberi motivasi.


_

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Chef Wan the Unsung Hero

Although it is quite late, But Lord Hosni de Wise congratz u for your recent triumph of being awarded with;
Best Celebrity Television Chef of the Gourmand World Cookbook Awards
and I heard that Oprah are going to invite u to cook in her show..
Chef Wan, u r the jewel of the malays and malaysia.
We are proud of u
_

Friday, August 28, 2009

Pak Cik Serigala

In many ways that it seems to appear, my holiday is not bad after all. Not to mention that I missed tarawikh on the second night due to a long chat with my aunt. The rest is quite okay though the sensation of early Ramadhan is not there, plus the selawat between the tarawikh recited by those Johoreans are quite unordinary and unacceptable for me.

I was quite shocked with such selawat recited by them. The verses sound unheard of. My early assumption was that those Johoreans of Surau Kampung Padang Lalang, Tangkak, are of Shia sect, or maybe they are followers of other schools of the Sunnis.

Bearing in mind that such small matter is not something worthy to argue, I continue my prayers with my heart devoted solely to God Almighty. Alas, the devotion is not really a full one. Being a guest to such a hospitable aunt, Ramadhan is an interesting experience. Though my body follows the Imaam in front, often I found my mind leaving his charming and pious owner, travelling back to the dining table and the streets of Bazaar Ramadhan.

Ayam Percik Bangsar bought from Bazaar Jasin is real delicious. I had been longing it for a couple of years since I left Jasin after SPM. Nasi Ambang (pronounced as ambeng) on the second day really amuse me, though they replace the Ayam Kicap with Ayam Ungkep. It is not really Nasi Ambang then but my first experience tasting the Ayam Ungkep was delightful. The tastes of herbs and spices overwhelming me mouth, savouring every single taste bud on me tongue.

It was the evening of me third day in Tangkak when I paid a visit to the beloved MRSM Tun Ghafar Baba, the place where Lord Hosni was born. To my surprise, the security guard allow me to wander in the college compound with my uncle’s bike and he even treated me nicely, with a long chat that I entertained not-so-full-heartedly. He reminds me of an old security guard back in my beloved college in Seremban.

So I wander around in the college compound, capturing a few pictures with my Daun, of places that are nostalgic for me. But before I manage to visit my old classroom, another security guard rode his bike approaching me.

“Dik, takleh masuk la dik..skang ni waktu cuti..takleh masuk.”

Obeying his order, I dashed back to Tangkak at once as it is 6.30pm already. My early intention of visiting my friend; Iqbal, was not fulfilled as sunset is about time.

The way the second security guard “chased” me away in a very polite manner indeed melts me heart. Both security guards I met that day were new there. The security company had changed already. They were not the same guards patrolling the college during my time. Yes, the man whom we nicknamed Pakcik Serigala or Pakcik Ghost Rider was not there. Somehow, I miss that man.

That night, I slept soundly, reminiscing the sound of an old Honda Cup, riding along the corridors of the Form 5 classrooms, with a big man on it, cap covering his long hair, round grim face, long moustache and a thick pair of glasses. It is 1 o’ clock in the morning, and the tranquillity of the school is then disturbed by Pakcik Ghost Rider, barking;

“Balek balek balek!!!!”



_

Lord Hosni Jadi Pak Cik

Kangkar Pulai, 28 Ogos. Lord Hosni de Wise dalam satu sidang media tergempar semalam telah membuat satu kenyataan yang menggemparkan. Beliau telah mengumumkan bahawa kakak ipar beliau telahpun berbadan dua. Apabila ditanya perasaan beliau, beliau menyatakan rasa syukur yang tidak terhinggag dan ucapan tahniah buat abangnya laki bini.

"Biasalah, dah kawen tu, ada rezeki pulak nak dapat anak. Alhamdulillah la. Saya terharu jagak pasal ini adalah pertama kali dalam keluarga kami."

Beliau yang tidak sabar-sabar hendak menjadi bapa saudara, kini sedang mula memikirkan nama yang sesuai untuk anak saudaranya nanti memanggil beliau.

"Pak Su atau Pak Chu agak klasik. Namun boleh dipertimbangkan. Lagipun beliau (kakak ipar) baru lima minggu (berbadan dua)."

Sambi menikmati Nasik Ambang, beliau menegur tindakan wartawan sesetengah tabloid yang mengganggu cuti neliau yang tak seberapa itu. Beliau turut membuat ulasan mengenai Nasik Ambang yang dijamah beliau yang disifatkannya sebagai mantap.

"Nasik Ambang memang sedap, dah lama saya suka. Lagi-lagi yang Johor punya. Tempat laibn saya tak jumpa lagi yang sedap. Akhirnya, setelah sekian lama, Johor dan rakyatnya mempunyai sesuatu untuk dibanggakan." - AFP


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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Awal Ramadhan

Here I am in a such a pathetic cybercafe in Tangkak, Johor, where I am spending a few days of my precious holiday with my aunt.

For many Malay muslims, as well as a handsome and charming guy like me, spending the Awal Ramadhan wiith family at home is something sweet and a must. Alas, it had been three years then, since first celebrated the Awal Ramadhan at home.

Sad.

I remember the very first time I look at 2009 calendar. The very first thing I find is the date of the Awal Ramadhan. Glad tiding, the Awal ramadhan is during our mid-sem holiday.

Gracious.

However, a few weeks ago, a phone call from me beloved old sweet mother crashed me heart, me dream, and me hope.

"Cuti bulan 8 nanti, kamu cuti sminggu kan?"

"Ye, time tu awal puasa kan?"

"Haaa...tapi mak ngan ayah gi umrah tau..lame da kami teghingin nak umrah bulan puase kat sane..bukan senang nak dapat! Jadinye, takde sape le di Terengganu, mak nak kamu..."

"Ikut skali? bole jugak!"

The level of euphoria suddenly gushed up. Damn, this is better!

"Hangguk kamu! Kamu ade duit ke? Jangan nak peghasan..Kamu balik umah abang kamu di Johor"

Stunned......

Down

Down

Down

Down sampai subuh.


My brother is going to pick me up within this week. Head to Kangkar Pulai then.

Hate this life. But on the positive side, I got the chance to visit Jasin town and it's Bazaar amadhan. Daman miss it so much.

And I bought Ayam Percik Bangsar !!!! Those from Malacca will know this. Its good...Its damn good, damn delicious, damn scrumptious, damn sedak nok mapuh!... I have been longing this chicken for 2 years!

God really have His own way.


P/s; Salam Ramadhan to all readers and visitors. May this month be the month of barakah and salvation from hell.

_

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Faith

In a conversation with a very wonderful lady, whom I barely knew her before, she said

“To me, your faith is just between you and your God”

I just nodded my head and admitted that I couldn’t agree more with her. To disagree and fire her back would be very unadvisable as we just build the friendship a few minutes before she mention her opinion.

She went on and on talking about she does not prefer people to advice her on her attire, her behaviour, though some of it disobey what Islam had told, and she knows it, and so and so.

She continue about how the way Islam is practiced in this country does not really portray the faith itself and many more wonderful opinions and many new exciting point of views I explore and agree that night. They are really something to ponder.

Judging her attire, you would not even care to listen to what she says, as we, the Malays, always associate those kind of opinion, if it is from a lady, should be coming from a lady with tudung bulat with jubah and not a single powder on her face.

Back to the quotation, which, I believe, many people agree with it, including me. However, in my opinion, many people use this quotation as a shield against all the advices meant to them, whether it is about aurat, or social relationship, or men-women relationship, or many other issues under the sun.

I agree with the quotation, however, I believe many nowadays Muslims all over the world use the quotation, as a ticket to disobey God’s word.

Look, it is very easy to say that our faith is between us and God. Being Muslim, faith between u and God is the kalimah syahada;

“I bear witness that there is no other God but Allah, and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah”

It is all between you and Him. I agree! Allah will not question your faith only because one of your Muslim brother or sister questions it. Allah looks at your heart, deep inside. It is true! And I was very happy to quote this from her, showing her sincerity with God.

Look, here is my say. If people say that their faith is just between them and God, agree with them. This shows that they still have faith in God, and they are sincere with God, and they don’t care about what others might think about them. They have freed themselves from riak!

Alhamdulillah.

However, by saying that, you also say that you believe in God, and being a Muslim, we all believe that there are no other God other than Allah. By having faith in Him, automatically, we also believe in his Words, the Holy Koran. By believing in Allah, automatically, we also believe that Muhammad is the true messenger of Allah. By believing Prophet Muhammad pbuh, we also believe in the truth of whatever he said; the hadith.

And by believing in Allah and Muhammad pbuh, we believe we have been given the Holy Koran and the Hadith as our guidance in embarking a journey called LIFE.

In this modern day, many new things happened and come out, and the world has really challenges the Muslims to stick to their faith with all the obstacles. And in such a chaotic (this word might look a bit exaggerated) situation, Islam is still applicable and is still a guidance to mankind.

However, with the advance of many things and development of technology in many areas, with people changing their way of living, with economic and social structure keep changing from time to time, the task of ensuring that our life is still on the track of the Islamic law and commandment has now become more difficult. This would refer to the situation of stating the hukum, or the status in Islamic law (whether it is allowed or not).

This hukums, is the results of the Koran and the Hadith being the guidance to mankind. However, stating a hukum, that keeps forever changing according to the situation; need us to refer back to Koran and Hadith.

The Koran and the Hadith is metaphorically to be a deep ocean full of precious pearls beneath it. The precious pearls are the guidance in deducing the hukum. However, most of us, who are just a layman, are not able to dive through this very deep ocean, to take those pearls out.

But we need the pearl!

So we went to the people who have the ability to dive into this deep ocean. The deep sea diver! You see, it is common sense. If you want to know about geology, you go to geologist. If you want to know more about anatomy, you got to anatomist.

Same goes for economy, archaeology, physic, medicine, and so on. You always go to the right person, the person with the required skills and knowledge, in order to obtain knowledge about the concerning area.

You don’t go to the mechanic to ask about medicine, you go to pharmacist instead. You don’t go to pharmacist if you want to know about economy. You go to an economist instead.

So, when you want to know what Islam says about this and that, you go to the right person. The learned man, the Muslim scholars, the ulama’ !

It makes sense!

So, follow the scholar, not your own kepale (head)!

However, justify their statement first, with all the might and ability that you have, before accepting their opinion.

May be some of their reasoning doesnt make sense and often misleading. This would require our own ability and strength in deducing the hukum.

May Allah guide you in these days.

May Allah guide you all. Amin

_

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kita Kamu

Kita Kamu - Hari Guru from nwar on Vimeo.




Setelah berkurun lamanya menanti...

akhirnye video ni aku dapat jugak!!

hahaha..

my head is now flowers with memories

*senyum lebar sesangat*

I am lordhosni..if u are watching this..u r the ressistant

_

The Crying Princess

Just got back from Johor, the land of Maksiat. My brother just got married to his fiancee, whom is from a village called Kampung Puteri Menangis, near Sekolah Kebangsaan Senang Hati at small town of Pontian. Johoreans indeed have remakable sense of humor when it comes to giving names.

Been appointed as a pengapit, or loosely tranlaslated the groom's bestman, both my parents gone through all the trouble, just to get my hair trimmed. However, their mature and obviously good looking son is so babel (damn stubborn), which, they finally hav to accept the fact that my hair will remain long like this on the pelamin (altar) at their new besan's house in Johor.

It is not the in norm of my family, to take pictures. In fact, we dun even have any camera! So, for events like this, the first marriage in the family, camera is indeed a must have thing. However, the economic policy of my father, will never allow any of his penny, to be allocated to purchase a camera.

This is the time where my Nokia Daun came in handy. However, it is undeniable, that pictures took by it, is damn low quality. The cam on my sis's fon also is damn low quality. She wud never want to have anything at his hand when we are attending the feast. And being a pengapit lelaki in a Johorean wedding ceremony, I need both of my hand to hold the kipas and also to pay the "tolls" (ask the Johoreans bout this). So, who should keep my fon and take the pictures? My parents are totally out in this technological matter.

So, to have the long story short, there are no single picture of me, being the pengapit, except for those captured by the cameramen hired by the wedding host.

Pathetic.

But I dun really give a damn, I just prayed that all the bersanding things to be quick, and off to the table, special for the couple and our delegation from Terengganu.

I dun give a damn to the damn polluted songs sang by a bloody old Johorean, nor to the ladies who keep saying "Makan la..makan la.." to our delegation.

I just warm the chair, beside my father and my sister, and finish all the dishes that i cud get my hands on.

Owh..it was heaven.

Fried prawns attached to pineapple, squids stuffed with eggs, satays, fried red fish poured with sweet n sour sauces, and all other dishes that i cant even name it. Owh dear...

Bloated, we dashed back to Kuantan for one night, and off back to Terengganu where preparations have to be arranged. God, the walimatul urus is on this Thursday. May God bless the ceremony.

Now came another problem. My morning sleep is now often been disturbed by the shouts from my parents.

"Bangun la! tolong ayah tu angkat beras! Berkampit-kampit Ayah beli tu!"

"Hosni! tolong amek pandan! Pastu turunkan pinggan mangkuk dari kabinet!"

"Basuh porch!"

"Cuci la bilik air tu! Orang kan nak datang!"

"Kemas!"

"Tolong ayah tebang buluh"

"Amek periuk2 besar dari surau!"

And many more. My advice to you, if your siblings is getting married, persuade your parents to book a hall for the feast, and get a catering service!

This is a pathetic story of a lazy-ass handsome guy. I am Lord Hosni, If you are reading this, you are the Ressistant.


_

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Mutiara Za'ba I

“Kehidupan didunia ini ialah kehidupan beramal atau bekerja, kehidupan berjuang dan berlawan bermati-matian seperti dalam perlumbaan. Tiap-tiap seorang hendaklah menjalankan bahagiannya sendiri dengan tidak bergantung kepada orang akan menjalankannya, tidak berharap kepada pertolongan orang akan menyempurnakannnya.”

“ Perangai bergantung kepada diri sendiri itu boleh dikata akar tunjang atau umbi kepada kejayaan; kerana asas tempat berdiri segala lemajuan naik untuk meningkat kepada kemenangan. Ia tetap akan mengalakkan siapa2 yang bersifat dengannya itu bekerja keras, dan tetap akan memimpin seseorang itu berusaha dengan cergas dan bersungguh-sungguh. Perangai itu tidak akan memberi peluang kepada tabiat suka bertawakkal buta atau berserah kepada nasib semata2 – iaitu suatu tabiat yang selalu menjadikan orang jauh ketinggalan di belakang, menjauhkan mutu kemanuasiaannya dan merendahkan hal kehidupannya. ”

“ Dalam pada itu tidaklah pula menjadi sifat kekurangan jika kita meminta panduan dan nasihat kepada orang yang lebih akalnya dan yang bijak fikirannya, walau siapa jua asalkan dipercayakan ia sentiasa benar dan tulus ikhlas pada segala perkataannya; kerana dengan jalan demikian nescaya seseorang dapat menambahkan akal-akal lain kepada kalnya sendiri. Hanya tidaklah sayugia ia berbuat demikian hingga kepada had yang menjadikan dia kelesa dan lemah; jika diperbuatynya sampai begitu nescaya hilanglah kesendiriannya dan lucut kekuatannya dan kecergasannya. ”

Dipetik daripada;

Perangai Bergantung Kepada Diri Sendiri ( karya Za'ba)

Bab 1 ( Wajibnya mendapat kejayaan ) - Fasal 1

_

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Home Sweet Home

Woke up at the strike of noon, I irritated my sister again as I already promised her to make kebab for our breakfast. And I have already broke my promise since yesterday. Perhaps I will fulfill it tomorrow.

Actually my mother has already woke me up a few hours earlier, asking me to buy potatoes. Well, get my hair wet a lil bit, wash my face, and off to Kedai Runcit Embak with my bike, and shout “Ketang skelo!” to my dear Embak, pay RM2.50, and rode back to home and off to bed again!

Today my lunch was superb! Mak made bergedel daging masak kicap! Owh! No wonder she asked me to buy potatoes. I ate my brunch (breakfast+lunch) with a smile, munching every juicy begedel on the dish plate, indulging each of my taste buds.

For the first time in this holiday, I finally eat something that is called home-made food. One may expect that the youngest child like me will be pampered and treated like king whenever back home. One might expect that my mom will cook the best for me.

Well, my case is a lil bit different. The first dinner at home after months of Baccalaureating is McD. The next day lunch was instant noodle, which I made it for my mom and I. Dinner that night was Hentam Sajalah Fried Rice by Chef Hosni. Lunch the very next day was catfish (bought), and the dinner is Spaghetti Mushroom + garlic bread, also by Chef Hosni. Yesterday lunch was sotong bakar and telur dadar, also by Chef Hosni, and for dinner, I ate Roti Tempayan, (bought at a night market nearby).

May be it sounds pathetic, but I think it is interesting to cook for your family. My mom always counts on me to cook for the family rather than counting on my sister, who is as lazy as Garfield. For Chinese, food symbolizes wealth. Food means prosperity and fortune. Every grain of rice, every piece of meat, every drops of oil, every packet of flour, should be cherished. Something I agree on with them.

Family is a group of strangers that are with you since your first breath. Whether you realize or not, you are what your family are. They influence you in many ways in your life. They gave a lot to you and they are still giving. In appreciation, give something to them back.

We live by what we get and we enjoy it by what we give.

Life is once. Appreciate it. Appreciate whatever in you have in your life.


This is Lord Hosni the Wise. If you are reading this, you are the Resistant.

_

Akhirnya...


AKhirnya, setelah berbulan-bulan lamanya mencari, dari toko Kinokuniya hinggalah ke Borders,

Khazanah melayu unggul ini kujumpa juga!!!!!!!!!


Pendita Za'ba - Perangai Bergantung Kepada Diri Sendiri


"Kekayaan saudagar pada pundi-pundi emasnya,
kekayaan pendita pada keping-keping kertasnya"



_

Friday, May 29, 2009

Habis sudeyh


One week of torture has finally ended!
Just pray for the best
_

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Just like Mandela and Gandhi





Leaders that suffers for their cause.
p/s; Err...not sure for the third man, but he said so..LOLz
_

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Long Winding Road

It is a very normal thing to be found sleeping like a dead person at Friday evening after the Friday prayer. And it is very abnormal to disobey such homogeneity, which, had been purposely committed by me last Friday.

After a long walk to Masjid Ampangan, only later to found that we the prayer had finish before we even manage to hear the dua’ recitation, we jump into the bus provided, together with other college mates, pretending like nothing had ever happened.

The long walk and our dear motherland’s climate had really tortured us, exhausted us body, mind and soul. A long sleep would be a remarkably well-agreed activity to do after facing all this madness.

However, a life of an IB student is never a bed of roses.

There is EE questionnaire to be drafted. Perhaps, seeking Pn Siti for advice would be a good action.

There also works to do regarding my Entrepreneurship Club as we are selling those mountains of old newspapers to the middleman that evening. The money will be used to fund our batch’s charity project in Kg Bayai in Jempol.

There are two lab reports to be handed in next week, biology and chemistry. The former had been procrastinated for a week, and the latter would require a full undivided attention.

I am not stupid as I am fully aware that my problems with Maths are getting worse and need an immediate aid. As the exam is around the corner, practices and exercises would be the most right stuffs to be cared about.

There are another 2 chapters in Meniti Senja and 45 chapters in Lagak Wasangka that should be finished within the next week. Watching Kiera Knightley in Pride and Prejudice would be really helpful only if you finish reading the novel in order to clearly understand the story.

As all things under the sun will come out in our Biol Lagi paper for this semester, a well-planned intensive revision should be carried out. This measure would be indeed being taken on other subjects, especially Chem Misery, MADmatics, and Ekor Nomy. The exam is just a fortnight to go.

Ussually, out of the 6 compulsory subjects that I took, only those 4 that I mention in the previous paragraph that usually yearn for my attention and affection. However, for this semester, another subject should be added in the list – Malay A1.

All the problems had been properly laid out, and the future of these problems is forever in grey and remains unpredictable.

Now, there comes another problem.


How should I get all these shit taken care of within two weeks?

_

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Praises and Compliments

Born as Malay, we are expected to be modest and humble, whenever we get praises or compliments. One should be uncomfortable and keep denying the compliments even they would have to kill the person who give the praises.

Denying the praises, in the homogeneity of the Malays, would only cause the person making the compliments to be highly motivated gives more compliments plus some exaggerations.

Malays, in full awareness of this habit, will keep repeating the cycle. Wonder why? It is simply because they yearn for more praises and compliments!

And then they will keep denying and sniggering and the same time as there will be exaggerations within the compliments made that sends impulses to their body, moving the muscles around the mandible to finally snigger and the nostril finally getting bigger than before.

“Wah, Usop, awak ini kacak lah”

“Eh, mana ada, awak ni ada-ada sahaja”

“Betul, saya tak tipu, muka awak nampak berseri-seri”

“Haha, Mengarut betul, saya sedar saya ini siapa, mana ada saya kacak, ahahaha”

“Betul lah Usop, saya rasa awaklah yang paling kacak sekali di sini. Saya sudah lama memerhatikannya sehingga saya dimarahi Bos saya. Muka awak bagaikan Dafi AF ketika dia sedang tersenyum, sungguh kacak sekali. Ketika awak sedang sedih pun, muka awak tetap kacak bagaikan Khairy Jamaluddin menang Parlimen Rembau! Oh, saya rasa awak patut masuk peraduan Hero Remaja ” (muka penuh ekspresi dengan sinar mata kejujuran)

“Eh, Mana ada, awak ni, pandai betul kalau bab nak mengusik saya, hehehe.” ( mula sengih-sengih kerang busuk)

And this pathetic cycle is keep repeating itself until today, as the mentality and homogeneity of the Malays that demand their members of society to remain “humble and modest”, although what they really want is just more praises and compliments.

Saidina Ali r.a once said; “Those who comment me or criticize me, they are my friend. Those who praise me, they are my enemy.”

There is truth in his words actually. So, that makes me to go against this stupid cycle. But I am no hypocrite. I do love to be praised although I am not keen of complimenting others no matter how good they are.

If I want to praise them, I will not compliment them straight away to them. This is totally against my policy. If I dun like their way, I just be honest with them, but with emotional intelligence approach of course. There is a bit of Okonkwo inside of me.

This usually happens whenever I get a compliment.

“Eh, Hosni, awak nampak kacak lah hari ini”

“Ye? Hahaha. Puji lah saya lagi”

If I am lucky, I will get more praises. And if I am lucky, I will not get any praises from that person for my whole life after that. All the things that I am going to hear are critics and comments that will help me to improve in all sorts of view.

It is win-win situation after all.

Do like getting compliments but don’t like giving them.

I dont think it is bad.

At least for me.

_

Friday, April 24, 2009

Cita-cita Terpendam




Malas nak cerita panjang2..nanti melalut pulak..baiklah, mari kite lurus ke titiknya (straight to the point)!
Setiap daripada kite mempunyai cita2 tependam. Cita2 terpendam ni merujuk pada cita2 yang tak dapt dilaksanakan atas rintangan2 yang tidak dikenal pasti. kalau dikenal pasti pon, penyelesaiannya masih tidak ditemui. Kalau ditemui pun, ada lagi berbagai rintangan yang menghalang kita melaksanakannya.
Cita-cita terpendam aku ialah untuk menjadi.....





BODYGUARD !~~~



Bukan bodyguard cikai2 tu..
bukan jugak bonzer kelab malam..
bukan macam JAGA yang kat bank tu..
bukan gak yang empat kaki bunyi woof-woof tu..
tapi ni bodyguard yang pakai suit smart2 pastu de pistol siap ngan silencer!

macam dalam cite Prison Break tu..ala..kan The Company kan de banyak agen2 dorang..haa..yang camtu la yang jadi cite2 terpendam aku..tak silap aku kalau nk jadi bodyguard tahap gaban camtu kene de lesen and sijil die..

Fuh..cambest dowh.. ala2 CIA, FBI, Russian KGB, Israeli Mossad, Japanese Kempetai (yg ni agak noob), Muslim Jihadis..

Berbadan tegap (ni je la ciri2 yg ak de..len hancuss) dengan suit ala-ala Men In Black,

dengan menatang alah wayar yang pasang kat telinge untuk komunikasi,

dengan pistol siap ngan silencer kat sisi kiri, tak pun kat blakang sluar..

berlari2 mengejar musuh yang melakukan assasinasi..

Ataupun berjalan membentuk formasi segitiga bergerak mengawal isteri Perdana Menteri...Dada yang lengkap dengan ilmu silat, karate-do, aikido, Krav Maga serta MMA.

TIba2 de musuh orang asing datang menerpa, terus dikilas tanganye ke belakang dan digari! Seorang lagi muncul dari jauh, belom sempat beliau mengacukan shotgun terhadap ISteri PM, pistol aku telah pun mencium pelipis kanannya, membuatkannya berfikir dua kali sebelum menembak.

Tak tau sama ade ak gila atau pun tidak, stiap kali aku naik atau turun tangga berpilin Kolej MARA Seremban ni, mesti akan akan terbayang aku ni ejen FBI yang tgh kejar musuh..SEcara otomatik aku kan mengerakkan tangan aku keluar dari balakng sluar aku dan membuat gaya pistol ngan jari..

Mungkin korang katekan aku ni gile..tapi itu ialah cite-cite terpendam aku..yang aku rase aku memang takkan dapat tunaikan..

Haiz..kuciwa..kuciwa..

Tapi aku pkir2 balik, jadi bodyguard ni idup asek dalam bahaya je..idup asek ikut bontot orang je..

bek la aku jadi doktor..
mak aku saket bole gak aku tolong2 check..

haha..

pe cite2 terpendam korang?
takkan takde kot..mesti de kan..


_

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Seminar Pengurusan Industri Halal Nasional

Alone in room 216 of the magnificent Nazak Building of KMS, make me realise how exhausted I am.

I just got back from Malacca to attend the Seminar Pengurusan Industri Hal Nasional in Melaka International Trade Centre (MITC) in the very hall that we used to have the grand dinner for our batch.

The name of the seminar was so gempak. It took us 20 minutes in the hall to realise that the gempakness of the name was a hoax as the seminar only have meaning for real entrepeneurs! Not a bunch of bloody college guys selling kerepok lekor once a forthnight!

As the seminar was held in the conjuction with the Karnival Halal at the very same building, most of us take the oppurtunity to save our life from being bored to death by leaving the hall one by one and pleasure ourselves with the foods available at the bazaar. Being a food lover, I grab this lifetime chance to eat all the free foods and drinks from about a hundred booths there.

"Amek la ni"

"Try la makan ni dik, sedap ni.."

"Aaaa..ni air rossele bang"

Smiles were carved on our faces whenever those lines reach our ear. With pleasure, many foods and drinks had been happily dumped into our stomach and we were bloated by those free try-this-one foods!! Damn! That was better than the seminar. Haha, at least we can eat and walk and drink and walk and drink and eat and walk!~

We tried almost all the free foods and drinks there. We even try the Losyen Pati Lintah Gunung on our hand. All the urat-urat (veins) of my hand became clearly visible after that!

Ngeh ngeh ngeh...

Imagine what will happen when we apply on the right part~ Ouff!! Few "for-man-only" jokes with the booth guy left us roaring in laughter.

Not much battery left.
Lazy to write summore..
Well, if i have time, i'll continue this.

Soghi
_

Monday, March 30, 2009

Hablu mina an Nas

Kadang-kadang, apabila kita di dalam perjalanan, kita hanya akan terus berjalan dan berjalan tanpa memandang kiri dan kanan atau atas dan bawah. Sedikit pun perkara yang kita anggap itu kita kisahkan walaupun sekelumit.

Macam lah jugak hidup kite ni. Kadang-kadang kite terlalu menumpukan pada matlamat kite sahaja tanpa sikit pun mengambil kisah hal orang lain. Kita jarang2 sekali menunjukkan kasih sayang kita mahupun keprihatinan kita pada orang di sekeliling kita sekalipun hanya dengan senyuman.

Mungkin kerana malu, mungkin kerana segan. Takut die ingat kite ni nak ngorat die. Takut2 nanti dicop gay. Ataupun takut elaun MARA kite dipotong walaupun alasan ini agak tidak munasabah.

Ingat, pepatah cina ada menyebut; apabila seseorang itu terus berjalan menegakkan dadanya dengan hidung meninggi keatas, tanpa sedikitpun memandang ke bawah, dia akan tersadung dan jatuh.

Jika diperhatikan sekeliling, kita, insyaallah dan Alhamdulillah, dikelilingi oleh orang2 yang sangat menyayangi kite. Ibubapa, rakan taulan, guru-guru, pekerja-pekerja asrama dan DS, hatta pembayar-pembayar cukai yang bergelimpangan di jalan. Mereka-mereka inilah yang acapkali menghidangi dan mewarnai hidup kite dengan senyuman-senyuman lebar dan sengihan-sengihan perasan lawa ataupun gelak-gelak cover macho.

Dan acapkali juga hidangan-hidangan kita ini dipulangkan dengan raut wajah sombong, muka statik, kening terangkat ala2 The Rock, dan yang sekumpulan dengannye.

Mungkin kite ini bukanlah jenis yang ambil peduli hal orang lain. Mungkin juga kite rase kite tidak perlu pada itu semua. Tapi bagi saya, seboleh-bolehnye layanlah orang disekeliling kite dengan baik dan sopan, hatta kite bad mood sekalipun.

Seringkali kite marah pada sesuatu tetapi meluahkannya pada sesuatu atau seseorang yang lain tanpa sedikit pun memikirkan akibatnya sehinggalah kite ditimpa perkara yang membuat kan kite berfikir dan akhirnya menyesal.

Saya juga bukanlah manusia istimewa yang boleh menjaga hati dan hubungan dengan semua orang. Banyak juga hati2 yang pedih terluka disindir mulut saya yang boleh tahanla jugak pedasnya.

Mungkin kerana hegemoni saya selaku orang pantai timur yang suka berkias, maka bahasa berbunga-bunga yang dipilih sewaktu “menegur” itu kadang2 terlebih pula dos nya.

Mungkin juga kerana muka saya sebegini yang kadang2 nampak masam dan kurang frenly bak kate orang putih. Orang coklat cakap kurang ramah. Sungguhpun banyak testimony mengatakan muka sayer cute macam Orlando Bloom, namun setiap kali orang yang berjumpa saya kali pertama mesti akan kate saye sombong. Mampuslah, takkan sayer nak senyum sampai telinge sepanjang masa. Karang orang kate gile pulak.

Mungkin juga kerana cuaca yang semakin panas dan membuatkan sesiapa sahaja hilang kewarasan maksimum dan pertimbangan akal. Ataupun kerana gelas2 DS yang kadang-kadang bau sabun kuat.

Apa pun, mungkin kite patut muhasabah dan muhasarawak diri kite supaya hablu mina an nas kite terpelihare baik . bak kata pepatah Parsi; Karipap jikalau terlampau lama digoreng, akan hangus juga.

moga2 beroleh sesuatu
_

Friday, March 20, 2009

Obama Gay????

Sengaja letak tajuk diatas. Tak ada kaitan pun. Kalian ni, asal tajuk macam tu terus nak baca.

Haiz.

Masih tidak terlambat untuk menekan butang X berwarna merah di penjuru kanan atas.

Cerita bermula.

Lord Hosni de Croquignolet akan bertolak ke Seremban pada malam ini.

Baharu semalam saja menukar tiket yang sepatutnya Ahad.

Sengaja balik awal, bukan pasal Kem Rabbani, tapi lebih kepada ingin menyiapkan kerja rumah yang berlubang-lubang.

Saya memang hadapi masalah kali ni untuk siapkan kerja rumah. Malas yang amat

Saya cuma boleh buat soalan mudah-mudah sahaja. Ilmu Kimia memang saya lingkup. Ilmu Hisab apatah lagi.

Tapi satu kejayaan saya, saya berjaya habiskan dokumentari The Arrival of the Antichrist. Minda saya kini bebas!

Saya juga berjaya masak satu resepi cendawan yang dicuri dari kedai Popular di Terminal One Seremban. Curi guna kamera ok!

Seluar yang dahulunya terkoyak sudahpun dijahit. RM8 tukang tu caj saya.

Bedebah.

Dengan kebalikan saya yang awal ini, boleh juga mengembalikan imej baik saya di depan al Fadhil Brother Opie setelah banyak kali terkantoi di saat kurang manis.

Politik, pengaruh, dan imej.

Selain itu, boleh juga memulakan Internal Assestment Economy yang tak termula-mula lagi. Kajian Sekunder pun tak jalan lagi.

Sedih.

Inilah resam pelajar.

Bila hari kelas, tertunggu-tunggu hari minggu, tertunggu-tunggu cuti. Konon-konon nak ulangkaji, konon-konon nak sentuh itu ini, konon-konon nak search pasal itu ini.

Bila cuti hapah pon tak jadi.

Teringat pulak pada karya picisan nukilan diri dahulukala.

Bacalah kalau sudi.

Tak sudi tak apa.

Kita negara demokrasi.

_

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Lily Dapat Lesen

Buat pengetahuan korang, Lily Cartina Affendi telah pon berjaya memperolehi lesen memandu kereta beliau sebentar tadi.

Beliau telah memberitahu saya selepas tiga kali membuat misscall.

Beliau sungguh gembira kerana telah mendapat lesen tersebut seolah-olah tiadak ada hari esok.

Sangat2 gembira sehingga menghubungi saya menggunkan alat canggih Abad 21 yang bernama telefon bimbit dan memberitahu saya berita ini dengan galak sekali.

Lebih gembira daripada diri saya yang lulus ujian memandu semasa ujian ulangan kerana ujian pertama terkandas di jalan raya akibat terlanggar lampu isyarat.

Kecewa dengan diri, saya hampir2 makan nasi tiga pinggan pada hari tersebut tapi dihalang oleh personaliti saya yang kedua. Pelik bukan?

Lily Cartina juga telah berjaya memaksa saya berjanji akan mengumumkan perkara ini didalam blog saya. Dan sekarang ini saya sedang menunaikan janji saya kerana bimbang dijatuhkan hukuman munafik dan menerima azab seksa di akhirat kelak.

Beliau telah berazam untuk mendapatkan lesen van dan lori pula selepas ini.

Kata beliau lagi, faktor umur dan jantina bukanlah penghalang, namun yang penting ialah semangat dan keazaman.

Beliau juga menyatakan yang tidak mustahil suatu hari nanti beliau akan mempunyai lesen helokopter dan lesen kapal terbang apatah lagi lesen perniagaan atau lesen hiburan

Beliau nampaknya begitu komited dengan perkara-perkara berlesen ini berkata bahawa beliau akan cuba mendapatkan semua lesen yang ada di Malaysia ini.

Beliau juga katanya; bercita-cita untuk kerja di Jabatan Pengangkutan Jalanraya untuk menguji bakal-bakal pemandu kelak.

p/s;
Buat pengetahuan kalian; lima ayat terakhir itu hanyalah pembohongan sahaja yang direka sebagai perencah dalam kisah ini.

Nasihat saya kepada orang-orang Kuantan; Berhati-hatilah dijalan raya selepas ini. Buatlah wasiat dahulu sbelum memandu. Wakaka. =D

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Haircut

For a charming and handsome guy like Lord Hosni, nothing frightens him most but his over-long hair. And why such things should frighten him? It is just because that means he needs a haircut.

Then just go to a damn barbershop and get a damn haircut! Or a hair saloon fer God sake!

No. Not that easy. Well, it is really frightening for me to get a haircut from a barber as the first thing the barber would ask is;

Nok potong wane? (How would you like your hair to be cut?)

That is the most frightening question for me! I knew nothing about hairstyles! What should I say then? If I say something, he would definitely cut the way that I did not meant to!

What if I say slope? Wait! I dunno what the hell slope haircut look like! What if I say layer? Err, how does a layer haircut actually look? Or maybe I should just quote directly from Mr Squarepants - Jig me down, make me round! Hell no.

Pathetic!

Then of course to make myself look clever and to portray myself as a student in the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, I will say in a lazy tone;

Macang hok bese ah..pendek.. Stai oghang kije jabak (like usual, just the common one. Short like those office workers you know)

Prenggg....

The haircutting machine will start making noise and cutting the masterpiece on my head. One by one my hair falls on my shoulder. Then my face seems to be rounder and rounder, telling me how fat I am by making all the blubber and double chin become clearer and more visible.

Owh! I hate it when I have to get my hair short. Why my hair should continuously divide itself mitotically when it has already grow to the extent that I want as well as obeying the college rule? Why can’t I let it grow long nyway? Why the Seremban IB World School have to forbid their students from having long hair?

I have so long wanted a long uncut hair you know. Like Ramli Sarip or A Samad Said, you name it. You just wait. And when the time come where you will see my hair just like theirs, bear in mind that that time I have already been banished by my parents.

Then as my imagination fly way across the seven seas, come again those bloody questions;

Atah nok nipih dop? (Do you want your top hair here to be trimmed??)

Blakang nok akak kek dop? (Do you want to have your back hair thinned?)

Tepi ni nok wat gane eh? (How would you like me to cut your hair on the side?)

Saik beng nok sipang dop? ( Do you want to keep your side burn?)

Again, lazy tones by a student of the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme greet the questions sluggishly with lots of “errrr” and “hmmm” as well as “aaaaa”.

They story will end with a green and a blue note withdrawn from my wallet and handed in to the barber. Thanks to the Kuala Terengganu Barber Association who had it fixed already. RM6 for an ADULT like me. These days, barbers can be very cekik darah you know. A few minutes staring at the mirror while twisting my neck right left, with my eyes actively moving and focusing on each part of my hair accompanied by the voice of the barber ;

“Molek dop?” (Is it ok?)

“Wane?” (So..how?)

“Ke nok pendek gi?” (Or you want it shorter?)

Repeated over and over again with his face which full of hope, until I say;

“Bulih a ni...” (Well, this is just nice..)

Was I honest with my answer? I also have no idea. I told you that I know nothing about hairstyle. I don’t even know how to comment other people’s hairstyle or even mine! Well, I just answer like that to comfort myself.

Is my new hair OK or not?

I don’t really care.

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Kaweng Ngka Tu

This is a story about my old neighbour back in Kuantan. They live in a fine wooden-cement house in front of mine, separated by a small field and a surau (prayer house). The man of the house who is also the breadwinner of the family is an engineer in Port Kuantan whom I call Pak Cik Zarak. Married to a woman who is now a domestic engineer, both of them are blessed with 6 children, 2 males and 4 females.

The story happened several years ago when I was playing pangkoh on a stone table under a Payung Indonesia tree at their lawn. Together with me was Udin (the second in their family) and others from the same neighbourhood.

Suddenly, the phone rang in the house. Kringgggg!

The phone rang again for the second time. Nobody pick it up yet. Then, the mother, in her deep Kuantanese accent, shouted at her children;

“Telepoen tu!!!” (the phone!!)

Then, Kak Long, the eldest in their siblings, probably was watching TV in the house, began to shout in her deep Kuantanese accent;

“Udin! Gi la angkek telepoen tu!” (Udin! Go pick up the phone!)

“Ahh! Mende aku nye?! Aku tengoh maing pangak ni! Aimi!! Kaweng ngka tu!” (Ahh! Why me? I am playing pangak here! Aimi !! must be your friend on the line!).

The second child replied furiously. His eyes was still fixed upon the cards at his hand.

“OOOO!!! Mane ade! Bakpe aku nye?! Akaf! Kaweng ngka yang sokmo telepoen ! Gi la angkek tu!” (Hey! Ridiculous! Why me??!! Akaf!! It is your friends who have always phoned here!! Pick up the phone! ).

The third one shouted back angrily. She dares not to ask her big brother again to pick the phone up.

“Aaaahh!! Aku tengoh nok maing pangak ni! Ayak tu ade dekek! Suoh a die angkek ! Ayak!! Angkek la tepon tu !! Kaweng ngka yang sokmo tepon !!” (What?! I am playing pangak here! Ayak is near at the phone! Ask her to pick it up! Ayak!!!! Pick up the phone!).

Akaf replied in the same loud tone and the same accent. He who had actually not holding any piece of card, had been watching the game attentively instead.

“Aaahh!! Bukeng kaweng aku! Bakpe aku nye! Didah! Ngka angkek la !!” (Aaaahh!! It is not my friend! Why it always has to be me?? Didah!! Pick it up!!)

Ayak shouted to Didah, the youngest in the family. She is clever enough not to use “it is your friend” excuse as Didah is still in kindergarten and it doesn’t make sense if she has any friends there who know how to use a phone. She might think that because she is a few years older, she was not bound to the honourable job of picking up the phone.

As the words of “Ngka angkek la” remained shouted at each other by the siblings, the ringing ended together with the words of “Kaweng ngka tu”. They will have the same "ritual" whenever the phone rings. Sometimes, when the parents interfere, someone in the family will just have to pick the phone up.

This little anecdote is actually a reflection to our very own society. From high respected leaders of the country all the way to the commoners.

Have u ever heard of a story of a piece of paper lying on a floor in a classroom? Where the members of the classroom are Somebody, Everybody and Nobody? In the end, the paper is still lying on the floor.

Have you ever heard the old Malay song of “Bangau Oh Bangau” ?

These are little things in this large world that we may have not giving any attentions to.

Do you agree if I say that all the problems in this so called beautiful world started with the letter “I” ?

Yes, the word problem doesnt start with the letter "P", but it started with the letter "I"

Think deeply. Free your mind. You may learn something today.

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Glossary

Pangkoh - Means pangkah or cross (X). A card game ussually played by 4 to 8 person. Use the same card used to play poker (Malay call it daun terup)

Pangak - another name for the card game of pangkoh

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