It has been quite long since the last entry and the line “it has been” has been my favourite line for the introduction of my new entries. Well, again I had manage to come out with ideas to write a new post and here it is. Story began a few weeks ago when I spent my time texting Liyana and somehow we were talking bout our old buddies and this is the time where somehow the name Seha appeared. (both of them were my former classmates back at MRSM TGB). Liyana informed me that Seha is in KYUEM now, for the second call for the teachers-to-be programme under the Ministry of Education. I was stunned because i knew nothing bout that! well, then i suddenly felt guilty, for neglecting my frens. All of them. I felt very guilty as i dun even noe that Seha is going to replace Cikgu Suhaily the physic teacher one day! And Seha rang me last two saturday nite on the NITE OF PALESTINIAN TEARS and we had a nice chat. She storied me lots of things bout her new second home and how happy she is when she finally be in the place where nobody cares bout what she does or did or will do. She also said she miss me and all other frens while i said to her that i never have her in my mind at all ( just being egoistic to admit that sumtimes, i do remember her). She also scold me for being so "sombong" and i also apologise to her and i admit my sombong-ness.
Even after hours since we finally end our conversation that nite, while my mind still full of old memories since i was primary school and somehow, i felt that i just lost myself. It has nothing to do actually wif my conversation wif Seha, just made it as an intro.
I woke up the next morning and asking myself, "who am I?". The answer is of course not Spiderman! Have you ever felt the way that i feel now? You go on wif ur life and keep going on and keep going on, and one day, you realize that u r not urself. U had lost the real u while everybody besides u are no longer there. Its feel like u always look way forward infront of you and keep looking until u forgot bout the things infront of u.
And that time u were so confused and tears began strolling down ur cheeks without any reasons,
wif ur mind were full of things that u also have no idea to explain,
wif ur thoughts keep flashing in ur brain while ur tounge froze,
wif ur brain keep thinking and pondering but u dun noe wat u were thinking
like a computer that has not been defrag for centuries,
wif ur eyes staring at the mirror
and wif ur heart asking ur own image,
"WHO ARE YOU?"
Have u ever feel that?
p/s: some of u might not understand what am i writing all about. i dun really expect u all to really understand it the way i understood .