Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Who am I ?

It has been quite long since the last entry and the line “it has been” has been my favourite line for the introduction of my new entries. Well, again I had manage to come out with ideas to write a new post and here it is. Story began a few weeks ago when I spent my time texting Liyana and somehow we were talking bout our old buddies and this is the time where somehow the name Seha appeared. (both of them were my former classmates back at MRSM TGB). Liyana informed me that Seha is in KYUEM now, for the second call for the teachers-to-be programme under the Ministry of Education. I was stunned because i knew nothing bout that! well, then i suddenly felt guilty, for neglecting my frens. All of them. I felt very guilty as i dun even noe that Seha is going to replace Cikgu Suhaily the physic teacher one day! And Seha rang me last two saturday nite on the NITE OF PALESTINIAN TEARS and we had a nice chat. She storied me lots of things bout her new second home and how happy she is when she finally be in the place where nobody cares bout what she does or did or will do. She also said she miss me and all other frens while i said to her that i never have her in my mind at all ( just being egoistic to admit that sumtimes, i do remember her). She also scold me for being so "sombong" and i also apologise to her and i admit my sombong-ness.

Even after hours since we finally end our conversation that nite, while my mind still full of old memories since i was primary school and somehow, i felt that i just lost myself. It has nothing to do actually wif my conversation wif Seha, just made it as an intro.

I woke up the next morning and asking myself, "who am I?". The answer is of course not Spiderman! Have you ever felt the way that i feel now? You go on wif ur life and keep going on and keep going on, and one day, you realize that u r not urself. U had lost the real u while everybody besides u are no longer there. Its feel like u always look way forward infront of you and keep looking until u forgot bout the things infront of u.

And that time u were so confused and tears began strolling down ur cheeks without any reasons,
wif ur mind were full of things that u also have no idea to explain,
wif ur thoughts keep flashing in ur brain while ur tounge froze,
wif ur brain keep thinking and pondering but u dun noe wat u were thinking
like a computer that has not been defrag for centuries,
wif ur eyes staring at the mirror
and wif ur heart asking ur own image,

Have u ever feel that?

p/s: some of u might not understand what am i writing all about. i dun really expect u all to really understand it the way i understood .


zafree said...

text ngan liyana jew...


well,aku x pnah alami aper yg ko rase

sbb hari2 aku kena layan sorg dak sengal


Lord Hosni de Croquignolet said...

ak pon x tau pe yg ak rse..haiz..just ignore it nyway

zafree said...


mane bley...

interesting aa aper yg ko rase tuh

Syazwan Harun said...

lorh~i felt it everyday man.wel..except 4 da crying part.da r aku asyk kantoi ngn ckgu homerum aku kt kmb asyk tmenung je.adoiii yai.nak wat cne,thats how life goes.we're all growing up man..

-miyn- said...

it's normal.

i call it 'konflik dalaman'..

just gotta learn to get pass through it, and u'll be just fine.

#oh, hosni tau jugak menangis.

bawang merah said...

i tot u wanna tell abt our clsmates (506), but rupenye, tu cume intro? ceys.

aku penah gak rse camnih. setiap ari tnye "sape aku?" tapi tak jugak jumpe jwpn.
berpikir lame pon, wat aku saket pale je.

so, aku prefer to run away when mende2 camni berlegar dlm pale otak aku.

hey, running sgt seronok tau.
it feels like you r in ur own world. sgt best~
(but someone advises me not to run away, but settle it..urgh!)

p/s: aku blom lg tgk hosni nanges. tapi, aku rse, yana cam penah nmpk hosni HAMPIR nangis.
hosni, ko nak nangis dpn org, nangis je la (tp xmacho la.haha)

AmiRuL said...

huhu..aku selalu rasa apa yang kau tengah rasakan...
kita membesar..berpisah dengan kawan kawan..tak ada yang sama..semua berubah...
kalau tak ada ultimate goal dalam hidup,memang rasa tak kena ar..

Lord Hosni de Croquignolet said... la post yg plg mengundang byk komen slaen dr post pasal fuel hike...ak xde la nangis! ak da berzaman x nangis tau!!!! nangis tu pasal mnde sedey! ni bukan sedey...just konpius..haha..nyway..thnx 4 thy opinions