Dr Sheikh Berucap, Dr Hosni Bermonolog (with English translation)

Due to the complaints from my fellow friends, saying that they can hardly understand a word, I came with these translations. I am not good at translating my own tounge. So, I am sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy reading.
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Pagi Saktu besonyo tak dop org bulih kaca. mase ni lah nok tido jenere abihnyo. mase ni lah nok guling batingnyo. mase ni lah nok guling kokseh nyo. Doh kalu dop ari Saktu, ari mano lagi? Ahak nok g gerejo dengar khutbah. Isna pah jumaat ado kelah. Ari Saktu ni lah! ari Saktu ni je la hok kite bulih tido kokseh kite lame mane pung.


It is well agreed that Saturday morning is not the time that is suitable to be disturbed. This is the time where we cud have a sound sleep. This is the time where we will lie downat anywhere that we want. If not on Saturday, then which day it will be? We have hear to the preacher on Sunday. We have classes on weekdays. Only saturday! Saturday is the only day that we cud have a long sleep at our will.



Abeh tu bakpe Abe Mus mari ari Saktu nyo?



Then why is Abe Mus is coming on Saturday?



Ambe ingat ye mari ari Isna, rupenye saing ambe royak ari Isna kekgi Deris Jusoh pulok nk mari. Org sekapa gop tuh! haha, Tempik lagi la Cekgu Ju, ni lah pelik bing ajaib Kolej Mara Serembang ni. kalu wak mnde2 gop, dok rajeng nk royak ke org. Supo Pengaroh soghe jo hok tahu nyo. pah kekgi maghoh pulok kalu kite ni dop gi..



I thought he is coming on Monday but then I was informed by my friend that it is Idris Jusoh who will come on Monday. He is Terengganu-men too! hahaha..Madam Ju wud scream again! This iss something that is just weird about this college. If they organise anything, they rarely inform us. Seems the only person who know bout it is just the Director herself. Then they will scold us for not attending the function.


jubor la..


Ass...


Malah nok cite banyok, ambe pung sapalah di Dewe Tung Husseing Ong hok come tp tak dop air-cond ni skali lah nge saing2 ambe. Doh nok wat gano, pitih rakyat patut wat pembangunang ke rakyat jd masuk saku puok2 die. paka kipah je la kito sini. Biarlah Abe Mus tahu gano rupo IB World School ni.



To cut down this long story, I arrived in this beautiful but not air-conditioned Tun Hussein Onn Hall along with my friends. What to do? taxpayer's money that shud be used for development goes directly into "their" pockets instead. Then we here have to use fans only. Let Abe Mus know how this IB World School looks like.


Malah nok cite banyok lagi, Abe Mus pung sapa la lepah kite hok budok lagi ni dok tunggu pah tunggu lah yo nok mari, ambe kabor doh, mapuh gi la ye tu angkasawang pung, ye org melayu gop. Natijoh ye la sapa lambak tu, takyoh nok bising la.

Again, to shorten this long story, Abe Mus then arrived after we, the "school kids", were waiting and waiting and waiting for him. I told u, he might be an astronaut, but he is still a Malay. So it is his nature to be unpunctual. Stop making noise bout it.

Dang ye naek atah gop, capa lalu mic. Pah ye pung cakak la mnde2. cakak sedak la. bulih kiro gop la caro yo tu kecek. tapi dok bakor mano semangak ni. patut yo keno mari ngaji nge aku dulu baru bulih kechek sedak! hehehe...

As he went up to the stage, he grab his mic. Then, he began his speech. He is a good speaker. Not bad. But somehow, he cant manage to burn the spirit. He shud look for my consultation first, then only he will become hell of a speaker! hehehehe...

Yo pung tunjuklah video2 yo maing di angkaso lepah tu. Padelah oghe kato wak bazer jah wak goni. supo g ata yo melancong jah. geger bnar bulih make rende di nun. oghe hok dok bawoh ni jerit susoh, yo dok maing atah nun.

Then he the videos showing all the sweet times he had up there in the ISS. Now I know why those people keep saying that this programme is just a waste. It just like sending him for a vacation. What is so great about eating "rendang" up there. The people here were crying in poverty and he was having a good time up there.

Nok wak pendek cito lagi, Abe Mus pung buko la sesi nok tanyo soalang2. Pah sekor2 tubek gi tanyo yo. Keno 2 butir soalang gop, yo pung turung dari petah tu. Pah, kohor rama la oghe tanyo. pah doh abih brapo butir yo jawak, yo pung tanyo;

To cut down this long story, Abe Mus then held the questioning session. One by one came out and asked him questions. After 2 questions, he got off from the stage to the floor, causing more audience to raise their hands. After several questions had been answered, he then asked ;


"Ok, siapa ade soalan?"


Tengok2 aku hok akak tange! gilo...tapi doh yo prase aku akak yo pung mari kak aku. ketar gop nok kechek. oghe hensem jupo oghe hensem, gitu la. ambe pung sakek gop tengok oghe tanyo soalang2 bodo jah. Yo keno oghe smart gop hok bulih tanyo oghe smart.


It seems me who raised hand! Lunatic..but as he realised that I had put up my hand, he came to me to give me his mic. I was nervous and shaky at that time. Well, it is not an uncommon thing when two handsome guy met each other. I was a bit irritated by all those silly questions. Time for a smart guy to ask a smart guy.


"ramai yang mengatakan bahawa program angkasawan negara ini tidak lebih dr satu pembaziran, jadi bagaimana dr menafikan kenyataan itu."


"dan lagi satu, adakah program ini sedang berlangsung lagi? jika sedang berlangsung, apa yang dorang tgh wat skarang n ape yg dorang akan wat pasni?"


lebih kughe gitulah soale aku. yo pung jawak la..yo kechek sdak gop, tp slack mace dok terbakar caro delivery yo. biarlah. buke aku hok jd angkasawe. tp ngelah2 kali, ak stuju gop la nge yo.


My question seems to be something like that (I cant really remember!~).Then he answered. A good answer of course. He is indeed a good speaker. However, he shud learn how to burn the spirit. hmmm..just forget bout it..i am not the one who became an astronaut. However, due to his explaination, we finally met the agreement - the programme IS NOT a waste.


P/S :
So, the conclusion is, it IS NOT A WASTE !! other sectors might need that allocation of money also, however, it is important to burn the spirit of malaysian to do great in their studies so as they can contribute to the country for more sophidticated development of aerospace technology. It does not concern about how that Abe Mus eat or drink at the ISS but how he was able to get into the programme and be selected. Its all about preserverence . We Malay and malaysian really need that spirit. I hope Abe Mus can tour around the country and inspires all the young malays to strive for ultimate excellence beyond imagination. May Allah help u Abe Mus !!~~

another p/s:
improvise ur speech. learn from the motivators, speakers and politicians. U are a complete package to burn the malaysian spirit. u just need a hell of speech. with Lord besides u, there shall never be any barrier. INSYAALLAH




gamba ni la ambe nok taye ko cucu ambe kekgi...hehe =)

These are the pictures that I will show off to my grandchildren...hehe =)

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Keraguan-keraguan Yang Nyata

Keraguan ini merujuk pada keraguan yang timbul terhadap fakta yang diterima umum selama ini yang menjelaskan bahawa Hosni ialah seorang manusia yang normal dan tidak pelik. Namun keraguan ini timbul kerana banyak asbabnya. berbagai teori telah dikemukakan untuk memangkah fakta2 yang mengatakan bahawa Hosni itu normal. Hosni sendiri merasakan bahawa beliau adalah manusia normal walaupun disangkal banyak pihak di sekelilingnya. namun begitu, kebelakangan ini, beliau sendiri turut meragui fakta Hosni normal itu. Berikut adalah hujah2 yang menimbulkan gharar pada kenormalan Hosni :

#1 - Apabila beliau menaiki tangga berpilin di Seremban IB World School, beliau senantiasa merasakan ada sepucuk pistol di belakang seluarnya dan sering kali mengilaskan tangannya ke belakang sambil menggayakan bentuk pistol, diikuit dengan imaginasi beliau sebagai anggota CIA yang sedang mengejar mafia dadah.

#2 - Apabila beliau sedang melipat baju, pastinya beliau terbayang drama2 melayu dan cerekarama2 TV3 lantas berlagak seperti seorang ibu yang sedang melipat kain sambil membincangkan masalah anak dengan suaminya seraya mengujarkan ayat2 umum drama melayu seperti - "awak tu bang, cube2 la awak tu berlembut siket dengan anak kite tu, ini asyik nak marah je..".

#3 - Apabila beliau sedang berjalan dengan tegap dan laju ala2 berkawat bersama2 sekalian rakan beliau, beliau senantiasa terbayang drama Gerak Khas dan beliau mula merasakan diri beliau seperti A Galak dan berlagak seperti polis Gerak Khas seraya mengujarkan dialog umum Gerak Khas - " Tuan ade bace surat kabar semalam, tuan?"

#4- Apabila beliau memegang sebatang kayu/ranting yang kelihatan seperti wand (tongkat sakti), beliau sering terbayang beliau adalah salah seorang auror dalam siri fiksyen Harry Potter seraya menggumam mantera2 seperti wingardium leviosa dan expelliarmus.

#5 - Apabila beliau minum secawan teh O di dewan selera KMS, beliau sering kali menikmatinya dengan penuh perasaan, sambil terbayang2 iklan teh BOH (bukan yg de Zahid AF tu!! yg lame nyer) . Kemudian lagu tema iklan itu akan tengiang-ngiang di benak beliau tatkala beliau membayangkan dirinya berada didalam suasana iklan tersebut. "....teh dikongsi bersama, umph, jelas terasa..."

#6 - Apabila berbual dengan Azhzurin Awang, pastinya beliau akan bertutut dalam telo sabah yang agak pekat sehinggakan tidak difahami Azhzurin sendiri. Pun begitu, beliau masih suka bermain three second dengannya.

#7 - Apabila beliau berjalan bersama-sama rakannya He (atau lebih kepada hewan peliharaan) menaiki atau menuruni tangga2 Farabi, beliau sering berlagak seolah2 beliau ialah pengawal keselamatan yang unggul, seraya memastikan kawasan tersebut selamat dan berkata - "The area is secured" ala2 The Pink Panther.

#8 - Apabila beliau sedang bersiap-siap memakai baju dan segala yang perlu sebelum ke kelas atau lebih2 lagi ke majlis2 penting, muzik dram tentera sering terngiang-ngiang di benak beliau, pastinya beliau akan terbayang bahawa beliau adalah seorang perajurit.

#9 - Apabila beliau memasak sekaligus menyepahkan dapur ibu tuanya, pastinya filem Rattatouille terbayang2 di alam imaginasi beliau dan beliau pun akan berlagak seperti seorang chef yang terkenal. Quote dari filem yang sama juga akan berbunyi2 di telinga beliau - "Everyone Can Cook!". Dan apabila masakan beliau tidak berkesudahan baik, maka beliau akan berkata "I had enuff!!" seolah-olah beliau adalah Chef Ramsays dalam siri Hell's Kitchen.

#10 - Apabila beliau berjalan dengan payung, beliau sering merasakan beliau ialah lagenda Wong Fei Hung yang sering beraksi kungfu dengan payung hitam. Beliau juga kadangkala merasakan beliau ialah watak Hagrid dalam siri Harry Potter yang mempunyai payung yang boleh berfungsi sebagai tongat sakti (wand).

#11 - Walaupun beliau dihujani dengan 10 fakta yang cukup untuk meragukan seseorang itu mengatakan - Hosni normal - namun beliau tetap berpegang teguh dengan pendirian bahawa Hosni tetap normal walaupun jauh di sudut hatinya, beliau sendiri berpendapat bahawa beliau sepatutnya mendapatkan khidmat pakar psychiatric yang bagus. Dan beliau menegaskan bahawa beliau NORMAL dan TIDAK PELIK.


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An Overheard Conversation

Last Monday had witnessed me lingering around the office and the staffroom just to make sure that the proposal for claiming financial support for the CAS T-shirt for the beloved fourth batch of IB students in this Seremban IB World School will be approved. As Ustaz Radzi was not around, Madam Hashimah the Director ask me to hand it to Mr Tamam the Head of Student's Affair. My indeed precious time were not let wasted as I head straight to his office when I found that he was having a guest at that time, Dr Noraini the IB Coordinator. I was hesitated whether I should disturb their conversation with my knocking on the door or not, alas, disturbance was my choice.

As I walked into his room, i could not stop myself from hearing their low-voice conversation and without intention doing so, I managed to caught a line spoken by Mr Tamam ;

"They are too relax"

Replied with TWO words of "YES" and several approving nod by Dr Noraini.


I am still waiting for the consequences due to this conversation which, according to my prediction, will not going to be delightful.

_

Doktor Sheikh Berucap, Doktor Hosni Bermonolog

Pagi Saktu besonyo tak dop org bulih kaca. mase ni lah nok tido jenere abihnyo. mase ni lah nok guling batingnyo. mase ni lah nok guling kokseh nyo. Doh kalu dop ari Saktu, ari mano lagi? Ahak nok g gerejo dengar khutbah. Isna pah jumaat ado kelah. Ari Saktu ni lah! ari Saktu ni je la hok kite bulih tido kokseh kite lame mane pung.

Abeh tu bakpe Abe Mus mari ari Saktu nyo?

Ambe ingat ye mari ari Isna, rupenye saing ambe royak ari Isna kekgi Deris Jusoh pulok nk mari. Org sekapa gop tuh! haha, Tempik lagi la Cekgu Ju,
ni lah pelik bing ajaib Kolej Mara Serembang ni.
kalu wak mnde2 gop, dok rajeng nk royak ke org. Supo Pengaroh soghe jo hok tahu nyo.
pah kekgi maghoh pulok kalu kite ni dop gi..

jubor la..

Malah nok cite banyok, ambe pung sapalah di Dewe Tung Husseing Ong hok come tp tak dop air-cond ni skali lah nge saing2 ambe. Doh nok wat gano, pitih rakyat patut wat pembangunang ke rakyat jd masuk saku puok2 die. paka kipah je la kito sini. Biarlah Abe Mus tahu gano rupo IB World School ni.

Malah nok cite banyok lagi, Abe Mus pung sapa la lepah kite hok budok lagi ni dok tunggu pah tunggu lah yo nok mari, ambe kabor doh, mapuh gi la ye tu angkasawang pung, ye org melayu gop. Natijoh ye la sapa lambak tu, takyoh nok bising la.

Dang ye naek atah gop, capa lalu mic. Pah ye pung cakak la mnde2. cakak sedak la. bulih kiro gop la caro yo tu kecek. tapi dok bakor mano semangak ni. patut yo keno mari ngaji nge aku dulu baru bulih kechek sedak! hehehe...

Yo pung tunjuklah video2 yo maing di angkaso lepah tu. Padelah oghe kato wak bazer jah wak goni. supo g ata yo melancong jah. geger bnar bulih make rende di nun. oghe hok dok bawoh ni jerit susoh, yo dok maing atah nun.

Nok wak pendek cito lagi, Abe Mus pung buko la sesi nok tanyo soalang2. Pah sekor2 tubek gi tanyo yo. Keno 2 butir soalang gop, yo pung turung dari petah tu. Pah, kohor rama la oghe tanyo. pah doh abih brapo butir yo jawak, yo pung tanyo;

"Ok, siapa ade soalan?"

Tengok2 aku hok akak tange! gilo...tapi doh yo prase aku akak yo pung mari kak aku. ketar gop nok kechek. oghe hensem jupo oghe hensem, gitu la. ambe pung sakek gop tengok oghe tanyo soalang2 bodo jah. Yo keno oghe smart gop hok bulih tanyo oghe smart.

"ramai yang mengatakan bahawa program angkasawan negara ini tidak lebih dr satu pembaziran, jadi bagaimana dr menafikan kenyataan itu."

"dan lagi satu, adakah program ini sedang berlangsung lagi? jika sedang berlangsung, apa yang dorang tgh wat skarang n ape yg dorang akan wat pasni?"

lebih kughe gitulah soale aku. yo pung jawak la..yo kechek sdak gop, tp slack mace dok terbakar caro delivery yo. biarlah. buke aku hok jd angkasawe. tp ngelah2 kali, ak stuju gop la nge yo.


P/S :
So, the conclusion is, it IS NOT A WASTE !! other sectors might need that allocation of money also, however, it is important to burn the spirit of malaysian to do great in their studies so as they can contribute to the country for more sophidticated development of aerospace technology. It does not concern about how that Abe Mus eat or drink at the ISS but how he was able to get into the programme and be selected. Its all about preserverence . We Malay and malaysian really need that spirit. I hope Abe Mus can tour around the country and inspires all the young malays to strive for ultimate excellence beyond imagination. May Allah help u Abe Mus !!~~

another p/s:
improvise ur speech. learn from the motivators, speakers and politicians. U are a complete package to burn the malaysian spirit. u just need a hell of speech. with Lord besides u, there shall never be any barrier. INSYAALLAH

gamba ni la ambe nok taye ko cucu ambe kekgi...hehe =)

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Its Cacing Time !!

It was heaven on earth last Friday as we embark ourselves to Madam Roslina's farm to learn how to rear worms! As it is in our plan and MARA also had allocated their money for our project, this visit is a pioneer step for us, the young entrepreneur! Well, no point talking much, here are some pictures and hav a look!

p/s: These are d only pics dat i manage to take with my cell phone and the quality is not satisfying. sorry fer that though.

Examination

Leaving the frustrating match between Man U and Arsenal after the first half lead me to my beloved Farabi to perhaps, finish my experiment design which the due date is this Wednesday. To most of the typical Malay, that design shud never been touched unless it is the night before the due date. However 17 years of living on earth had thought me that it is better not to procastinate ur work as it always lead to another heavy burden. My standard 6 teacher once said "kerja bertangguh, lama-lama jadi tak sungguh" . And that saying has always been lingering in my head whenever procastination appears in my mind.

Examination is just around the corner - a quote that everybody see it on friendster, yahoo messenger, myspace and even blogspot whenever examination fever is approaching. and this quotation never lift up my spirit to study hard, nor my memory of angry shout of Pn Juriah, nor sarcasm of Pn Khomah, nor sigh of Mr Ikhwan, nor 1001 meaning face of Pn Siti, nor advice from Abang Ipin.Then suddenly two of them appeared in my mind.

He always says to me, "Mu tu blajor la molek2..kne struggle la bebetol..ni dok maing je..Dok maing game, tgk tv sme tu..jadi kije la? bulih gi la?".

"Bangung pung matahri doh tinggi. Org laen pah mane2 doh, kite mandik dok lagi. Nabi kate org bangun lewat ni pendek rezeki. Ayoh dengan Tok Ki dulu subuh2 lagi bangung gi cedung."

Then its her voice appears,"Adik blaja la leklok..mak takde duit nk bagi banyak2, ni yang ade ni dah seribu rahmat, mak dulu lagi susah..kayuh basikal lagi..susah2 pun boleh jadi cekgu tanggung adik beradik ramai.

"Mak kat maktab dulu 2 helai je baju kurung. Baju tu la dok pakai ganti2. Luar pagar tu ade la jual mi goreng, bubuh togeh je..harga pon lime posen..tapi dah takde duit..makan jelah ape yang ade kat dewan makan tu..tu pun dah mujur..atuk bukan keje gaji beribu. adik2 lagi. kamu tu bukan payah nak menanggung sesape..blaja jela elok-elok."

Then my spirit started to burn.

O Allah Lord of the universe..grant them longevity, grant them long life, grant them prosperity, grant them good health, grant them long life, grant me the oppurtunity to become their doctor, grant my children the oppurtunity to play with them, grant them happiness, O Allah, grant them their wish, grant them ur guidance! Ameen O Lord of the Alamin~~

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An escape from....

Last night was a long night indeed. The adventure began as soon as the Isha athan was called where we performed our prayer first, before heading out from this nightmarish IB World School, when the Imam in the peaceful Surau al Furqan was performing the 3rd ruku' . The way we cross the survuiling pak guard is not something that can be shared here, as Mr Ikhwan might read this post also. So it is better for me to keep it to myself for the betterment of everyone who call themselves as a KMS student.

The journey continues as we walked through the darkness of the MPS playground, accompanied by dim streetlights and untitled neverending chat. Jidi and Blankcore went to a gig in Seremban Parade, and we planned to meet them at T-One where Pian wished to watch movie. Afiq n me were excited to grant his wish, after he were willing to spend for all the 5 tickets, in order to persue Jidi and Blankcore to come over there and join us ( somehow they were not interested to watch movie last night after the gig). We head upstairs after courting the ATM machines, and 5 of us watch Bangkok Dangerous happily accompanied by a regular size of Caramel Popcorn Combo. Two thumbs up for the muvie although the ending did no satisfy me. Nicholas Cage is superb indeed in his own outstanding way. (never accuse me of being gay! i am normal!)

However, the freezing cinema hall left everybody who were not wearing any extra cloths in great regret, especially those who wore a 3 quarter short like me, meaning that leaving the hall is a fortune! A roti kosong, a roti telur, and a glass of teh tarik at the NKI Bistro with the exciting football match where the ManU defeat the Hull City, was a really nice moment, after a long tiring and busy week.

On the way back, we just walked through the Lake Garden toghether, chaperoned by spectacular night view of the Lake Garden and again, the untitled neverending chat. Our body and soul were once again, ready to cross over the gates of this IB World School, where another long tiring and busy week awaited us.

_